


Happily Ever After

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arranged Marriage, Denial, Drama, Engagement, Forced Marriage, Fíli and Kíli Are Little Shits, M/M, Ori is shy and too innocent, Seriously that's pretty much the level of this fic, Unrequited Love, Wedding, all the denial in the world, the underage tag is just me playing it safe for the start of the fic, the young and the restless in Middle Earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 36,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili had thought it fun to seduce Ori, because what's not fun in making a pretty, innocent kid fall in love with you?<br/>But when their little game is discovered, Kili is forced to get engaged Ori, and he's not too happy about it. Neither is Ori.<br/>At least, he's got Thorin to help him get used to his new life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. just a joke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, inspired by a prompt from the ever lovely Aphpandaimos... <3

"We didn’t think he’d take it seriously!" Kili grumbled. “I mean, we’re princes and he’s… _Ori_. We thought it was _obvious_ we were just fooling around, you know?"

His brother elbowed him sharply in the ribs, but it was too late. The adults were glaring at them as if they’d committed some major crime when really, it had all been a bit of fun for the brothers. Really, who did Ori think he was to seriously believe that both heirs of Durin could want him, when he was such a young, small thing, barely a dwarf at all with all of his drawing and his knitted clothes. He was a baby, and the princes didn’t date babies, so Ori was an idiot for having thought he had a chance.

An idiot whose mother was friend with their mother, and who had some very scary brothers who just didn’t seem to get the joke.

Apparently, when Fili and Kili had decided the game had been enough and told Ori to go play somewhere else, his mother had forced him to explain why he’d been so sad all of a sudden, and then Dori and her had come to see Dis and Thorin, and there they were now. Having to explain why none of this was their fault.

All because Ori was an idiot.

"You made promises to him," Thorin stated coldly. “You gave him gifts, and accepted gifts from him. You are both as good as engaged to him, and if his family and him so desire, I will make one of you go through this courtship and marry him."

"What?"

"No you can’t!"

"It’s not our fault!"

"He’s too young anyway!"

"We don’t even _like_ him!"

“ _Silence_!" Thorin ordered, and the boys cowered. “The decision isn’t yours. Lady Ari, this is your choice. The boys are silly, but if your son married one of them he would have a good position and would never want for anything. I cannot promise he’d have a loving husband, but I can assure you that whoever he would marry would never dare to hurt him, be it with words or blows. He would be under my protection."

"And mine," Dis added, scowling at her sons as if they’d greatly disappointed her (which they probably had, Kili was starting to realize). “What they do shames me, Ari, but we have always been good friends, and as an apology for… _this_ , I would treat your son as if he were mine."

"A fake marriage won’t heal a broken heart," Ari stated. “I do not know if my boy will want to see them again after what they’ve done. Still… I will talk to him, and you will have my answer in a week. I do hope that before then, Ori will have at the very least received apologies."

Kili opened his mouth to protest once more that they’d done nothing wrong, but one look at Thorin told him it would be a bad idea. This was so unfair. All he could do was hope Ori would have some good sense, and realize that marriage was a very bad idea for everyone involved.

But then again, if Ori had had any good sense at all, they wouldn’t have ended up in that situation.


	2. unique chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori doesn't like the idea of an engagement at all

Ori didn't want to marry anyone. He just wanted everyone to forget about the whole thing, himself included. He would have been happy to never again see either of the princes. He didn't even want apologies, he didn't care that they had done something wrong, he just wanted to pretend it had never happened, and that he hadn't been so stupid as to think they could even like him.

Instead, his mother said he'd have to get engaged to one of them.

He'd tried to protest of course, because that was the worst idea in the history of bad ideas, but no one listened to him.

“I really didn't expect such compensation,” Ari told Dori. “I thought they'd give us some money... I would have been less angry at the whole business if it could just have finished paying for Ori's apprenticeship, but this! Oh, he'll be safe now, no more worrying about him!”

Dori frowned, looking almost as unsure as Ori. “The boys didn't seem too thrilled,” he stated. “I certainly don't like the way they talked about him, mother. And he's just fifty, isn't that young? People will talk!”

A fair point, Ori thought, though he wished they wouldn't talk about him as if he weren't there.

“Oh, people do little else,” Ari replied with a little hand wave. “And the boys are idiots, yes, but Dis said she wouldn't let them hurt him more than they already have, and I trust her. We've been friends since birth, I can trust her.”

Still unconvinced, Dori turned to his little brother. “Well, then. Would you like to marry one of them? I know they treated you wrong, and you can't be too happy with them, but this isn't just about love. You'd never have to worry about work or food again, and while that's not the same as a happy marriage, it counts for a lot in this world...”

“Beside, Thorin would pay your apprentice fees,” Ari pointed out. “He'll pay for everything you'll need, within reason... but you are such a reasonable boy, that won't be a problem, of course. I wonder which one you should get engaged to... probably Kili, hm? Don't take it the wrong way, darling, but marrying Fili would make you such a public figure, and I'm not sure that would go well with your temper...”

“Beside, they'll want him to have a child one day,” Dori claimed.

“True. Kili it will be, then. He's not too bright, but that means you might get an influence on him, if the two of you manage to... get past the unconventional beginnings of your relationship. And if you don't... well, I doubt he'll ever be too involved in politics, so you're safe from that. And he is a pretty good smith, who makes some very good bows on the side. He's a good match.”

“Considering our family's... _history_ , you could do worse,” Dori added.

They both turned to him then, as if awaiting his decision. As if they hadn't already decided. As if they wouldn't find a way to prove him that it was the best for him. Which it probably was, he supposed. He was, after all, a bastard, and a marriage with a prince, even one who despised him, was a unique chance for him.

Still, he wished Nori were around. It would have been nice to have someone else around to point out all the bad sides (which Nori would have done, if only because he could never agree with Ari and Dori).

But Nori hadn't been around in years.

And it was a unique chance.

“I guess it's worth a try,” Ori mumbled. “And it's just an engagement for now, right? If it doesn't work out, it'll stop, just like for a normal thing, right?”

They didn't hear his question, but Ori still hoped that it would be possible to stop the whole thing if it didn't work out... and it wouldn't work out, he knew it. Not with the way Kili an Fili had laughed at him when they had said that it had all been a joke.

But it was a unique chance.

And it seemed to please his mother and brother so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In one of the interviews, Ori's actor stated that he was the equivalent of 17 (Kili and Fili being in their mid-20s) hence Dori's concerns about his age... and the age difference tag.   
> And since this is set a few years before the quest, I'd say he's closer to 15 maybe? I'm wondering if I should use an "underage" warning actually...


	3. Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori still isn't happy with the situation, neither is Kili, and there is an engagement party

The news of the engagement wasn't much of a surprise in Ered Luin, at least not for people who knew the princes by sight. Everyone knew that for the past few months, that young, shy little scribe had followed them everywhere like a lovestruck puppy, and while it was generally agreed that Ori was a bit young for this, 50 wasn't _such_ an odd age to get engaged, not for a dwarf who had found their One.

And that was the official version of it. Kili and Ori were each other's one. It surprised no one. Even people close to the prince accepted this as a fact. His cousin Gimli joked that it explained a lot, and his weapon master Dwalin claimed that he'd guessed as much a long time ago.

No one knew the truth.

No one beside the unhappy couple, their brothers, their mothers, and Thorin. It was to be a secret. No one could know that the princes of Erebor had been so shameless that they had made a mere child love them, and just for their amusement.

Kili and Ori had talked only once before the feast to celebrate their engagement. It had been on the day when Ari had come to announce that her youngest son would consent to marry the youngest prince as payment for the offence made to him, and while the grown ups had gone to discuss the details of it all, the youngsters had been left alone.

Kili had been furious and, maybe, just a little bit curious. Ori had never seemed to show a preference between the two of them, always claiming they were two sides of a same coin, that the two of them could only come together, that it would be a crime to separate them, even in his heart... And yet he'd managed to choose, and Kili wanted to know why.

“Mother decided for me,” the younger dwarf explained, his voice barely a whisper. “I didn't want to, not with either of you, but she said it was best, even if you don't love me and I... I don't love you anymore.”

Kili, hurt by the explanation, couldn't help a snigger. “What do you mean you don't love me anymore? Of course you do. Anyone could see it. Mahal, how can you be so stupid and still love us after all that?”

“Kili, stop it,” his brother growled. “We'll get in trouble again if you make him cry, and this is enough of a bother already.”

Ori, who had lit up for a brief moment, looked down again, as uncomfortable as the princes. That had been the end of his hopes. He'd thought that maybe, they would at least want to be friend with him, that they might tolerate him, make an effort to see that this wasn't his fault, that he really was sorry for this turn of event... and instead, they just saw him as a bother.

Still, he did not cry.

Not until he was alone at home.

Because as the lady Dis reminded him when he left her house with his mother and brother, soon he would be a prince of Erebor, and as Fili and Kili had often told him, princes did not cry.

* * *

 

They did not talk again until the feast, and even then they did not talk much.

Kili was so good at pretending to be happy, Ori could only be impressed. The prince smiled and joked and laughed and took the scribe in his arms every time he could, as if this really was the thing he wanted most in the world, and it hurt Ori terribly to know that it was all fake. This was the most affection Kili had ever shown him, come to think of it, and not a bit of it was real.

Knowing this, Ori found it hard to pretend he wasn't miserable, but Dori did his best to reassure him, claimed he just looked nervous and impressed, as he ought to be.

“You'll be entering the royal family, after all. They all know this is a very stressful day for you, so they'll forgive you pretty much everything.”

“I'm not sure I want to do this after all,” Ori whispered, throwing Kili a worried look. “I think he hates me.”

“No he doesn't.”

“Yes he does.”

“Maybe a little,” Dori conceded. “But it doesn't matter. His mother likes you very much, and his uncle is determined to see you well treated, so you have nothing to fear. And think of it this way: isn't this almost what you wanted? You loved him, and you still like him terribly, don't you?”

Ori forced a smile. His brother's words felt like salt on an open wound. What was it Nori used to say? Trust Dori to always find the worse thing to say, or something of the sort. Because yes, he had loved Fili and Kili and yes, he had wanted to marry one of them (or even both of them, when his dreams got very daring). But there was nothing more unlike marrying the person you loved than marrying them knowing they would do it only because they were forced to, and they actually despised you.

Not for the first time since that whole thing had begun, Ori wished Nori were there. He'd have known what to say, and how to make him smile in the middle of the disaster that was his engagement feast.

“Well, I believe it's time for the ceremony now,” Dori said as everyone around them slowly stopped talking to instead stare at either Ori or Kili. “Time for the vows and your kiss, lad, and then you'll be properly engaged.”

It took a great effort for Ori to keep smiling, but he managed. He'd wished for months that his first kiss would be with one of the prince, even allowing himself to dream it would be in circumstance rather like these... though it'd would have been a happy proof of love in his daydreams, not this horrible pile of pretending and faking.

He should have been more careful what he wished for.

But at least after that day, they probably wouldn't have to fake affection in public anymore. It was just one kiss, and then he'd be able to act as if none of this was happening. So he went back to the table, exchanged his first vows with Kili, drank from a cup with him, and waited to be kissed.

It wasn't a bad kiss, not by far. It couldn't have been Kili's first, that much was certain, and the prince made quite a show of it, smiling and giggling happily, and it all felt so real for a second that Ori smiled too, forgetting for the time of a kiss that his brand new fiancé hated him.

Everyone congratulated them, after, and Ori let the prince take care of them all. He was, after all, quite good at faking things. He'd proven it more than once.


	4. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili isn't too happy to have his fiancé invited for lunch, but it doesn't go quite the way he'd have expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: brief mention of marital rape (which isn't a thing that will happen at all, I can swear to you, but it is talked of as a possible option here so... yeah)

Being engaged was not much fun, in Kili's opinion.

Everyone kept making jokes at him, because apparently, now that they were promised to each other, the only thing on his mind was to shag Ori, but he couldn't because the scribe was barely of age, and everyone found it very funny and made sure they didn't even get near each other, apparently for fear they'd start fucking in the middle of the market place if they could talk.

Everyone teased him, including Fili, who was greatly amused by that whole business, now that he was sure they would be no repercussion from it.

“That's all your fault,” Kili complained one night. “It was your idea, and you're the one who always talked to him, it's not fair that I'm the one paying for your mistakes!”

“Well, there's got to be an advantage to being the eldest... and that advantage is I have to look good in the eye of everyone, so you take the blame for things. And really, it's not such a bad thing, is it? Ori's cute. I wish he hadn't started talking about being in love and that sort of crap, I was really hoping I'd convince him to let me fuck him.”

“He's just fifty!”

“And he'd have had a prince to pop his cherry, not so bad I'd say!” Fili laughed. “Well, he'll still have one, if you play it well. He won't be angry for ever, so you might still get something out of this. He'll be your husband, he won't really be allowed to say no, will he?”

Kili thought about it for a moment. He was fairly sure he was stronger than Ori. He certainly was bigger anyway, and of more noble blood, so it was likely no one would care if he hurt him once they were married... but he didn't like the idea too much. He felt sure his mother wouldn't approve of him taking advantage of the situation, and everyone had made it very clear that Ori was to always be well treated...

“I'd rather fuck an orc,” he eventually answered. “An orc wouldn't have such a bothersome family, you know?”

“I don't know, I've heard they get pretty protective of their youngs. We should have tried to seduce an elf, I say. Then we'd have been sure that uncle wouldn't force us to marry anyone.”

They'd both laughed then, before trying to figure out how they could have seduced an elf anyway. It kept them awake a good part of the night, and they were both tired the entire day that followed, but Kili was starting to feel better again.

Until Thorin announced that he had invited Ori to have lunch with them two days later, and that the scribe would be spending the afternoon with them.

“But that's my day off from the forge!” Kili protested. “I wanted to go train, I've got a brand new bow and...”

“And you'll use it another day,” his uncle cut him. “The two of you have been engaged for nearly a month, and you haven't seen each other that whole time. People notice these things.”

“Well, let them notice! What do I care?”

“He is coming, Kili, whether you like it or not, and you will spend the afternoon with him, in the house. I'm not letting you out with the lad until I can be sure you won't try to trick him again, or to run off to have fun with your brother!”

“But uncle!”

“But nothing. This is how things will be. And I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself more than you think. He is a clever boy, you will certainly find things to talk about.”

Kili protested again, shouting and threatening to leave if he was forced to lose an entire afternoon with someone as dreadfully boring and stupid as Ori, but nothing could make Thorin change his mind. The only thing that made it all a little better was that Fili was just as annoyed as him by the situation; the new bow had been meant for him, and Mahal only knew when they'd both be free at the same time for a proper archery lesson.

When the day came, lunch was every bit as awkward as could have been expected. Dis and Thorin tried hard to make some conversation with Ori, but the young dwarf seemed as unhappy to be there as his fiancé was, and they were hard pressed to get more than one or two syllables out of him at a time.

It should have been obvious to everyone involved that this wasn't working at all, and that they were all losing their time, but Dis still insisted to have Ori and Kili go alone into one of the drawing rooms after dessert, to 'talk nicely and make friends'.

As soon as the door was closed, Ori took a seat, got a book out of his tunic, and proceeded to entirely ignore Kili, much to the prince's indignation.

 _He_ was supposed to ignore Ori, not the other way around. That wasn't the plan at all. The stupid little scribe was meant to be all flustered and shy and terrified, just as he had been at the feast, and Kili had expected him to try to convince him he'd make a fine husband. The prince had prepared himself to explain why it wouldn't work, and now it was all for nothing.

It was awfully rude of Ori, too.

He wished _he'd_ thought of taking something to make himself busy.

But since he hadn't, he decided to bother Ori instead. Well, _talk to him_. That was why he was there after all.

“So, what are you reading?” he asked. After a few minutes of silence, he tried again. “Must be a good book.” Still no reaction. “Wait is that Elvish? Why are you reading a book in Elvish?”

Ori sighed, and closed his book at last, though he still didn't look at the prince.

“Could you... please not to that?”

“Not do what? _Talk_ to you?”

“Yes. It's all very pointless after all,” the boy mumbled.

“How so?”

At last, Ori dared to raise his head. “Well, we're here to have a... a date of sorts, because that's what people do when they are engaged, whether in love or not. It's a social construct to help us get to know each other better. Only, we already know everything we have to know about each other. You know I'm an idiot who still cares too much for you even though I now know you only ever pretended to like me. You also know that I'm a bastard, and a scribe and, as you've pointed out once, a baby, which is all anyone needs to know about me. I, on the other hand, know that you are very selfish and not taking anything seriously, and that I can never, ever trust anything you say, because if you could fake being in love with me at the party, then you can fake anything at all. And that is all we both need to know.”

He opened his book again, clearly feeling he was done with the conversation, but Kili wasn't.

“I'll tell mother you brought a book,” he threatened. “You'll see how she'll like that!”

Ori closed the book once more, smiling weakly. “I'll tell her that I just wanted to show you something important to me. You.. you're not the only one who can lie, you see,” he added proudly. “Now... now let me read, please.”

“But I'm _bored_!”

The young dwarf seemed to consider that for a moment.

“We could... we could go outside... say that you'll show me how to use a bow or, or something...”

“Uncle doesn't want me to go outside with you, he thinks I'll run away and have fun with Fili.”

“I'm... I'm sure I can... convince him,” Ori claimed with a little nod. “If I ask, it's very different from if you ask, isn't it? I'm... I'm the victim here. Victim of just being stupid, but still... it's worth a try. Only, you... you'd probably have to not say anything or they'd... they'd suspect something...”

“Are you telling me to shut up?”

“If you can, yes,” the scribe said dryly, though he immediately looked like he regretted it. “Just, please, if my plan doesn't work we'll see, but let... let me try this, please?”

Kili shrugged. It was a stupid plan. He knew his uncle, and he knew how likely Thorin was to change his mind on anything. He'd learned it the hard way, after spending hours trying to make him see things his way, always in vain.

It took Ori five minutes of shy pleading to have them both allowed to go to the training ground, without so much as a chaperone.

The prince was impressed.

A small part of him rejoiced as they walked in silence. It was not the afternoon he'd planned, not by far, but he'd still get to train.

And there was a sort of _justice_ to the fact that, in exchange for their going, Fili had been ordered to stay inside and help Dis with the housework so that he wouldn't disturb their date.


	5. lessons of sorts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin wants his nephew's future husband to start learning about his future life

Thorin knew he was at fault in this dreadful business, of course. It was he who had first noticed how much time his nephews were spending with the young Ori, and instead of suspecting mischief, he had encouraged the friendship. And why wouldn’t he have done it? There were some irregularities regarding the lad’s father, but then, the lady Ari herself was, technically, Thorin’s aunt, having been born of Thror’s affair with a noble dwarrowdam. And yet she was a delightful, polite, well-educated person who had just... had some very personal and highly unusual opinion considering the concept of marriage when she had been younger. Namely, she’d thought it was stupid and useless, and that she didn’t want one.

It certainly hadn’t made her very popular among certain circles. But Thorin didn’t mind. He usually used it as a test, actually: anyone who badmouthed Ari was someone who would have to deal with Dis, not him, because he would not have the patience for their stupidity.

Thorin liked Ari, yes, and he liked her youngest boy even more. Ori was a quiet and polite lad, hard working and clever, whom he had never heard complain about the teasing Thorin knew he must have faced for not knowing his father...

Thorin liked Ori, and he’d been pleased when his nephews had taken an interest in him. He would have been glad to see him part of the royal family, on the proper side of things.

He still was glad that the boy would someday be close kin.

He only wished the circumstances for it had been... happier than they were.

Not that he regretted his decision of offering one of his nephews’ hand as compensation for the dreadful little joke the two of them had played on the poor boy. It had been the best thing to do, and Dis had entirely approved of it, claiming it was more than time her sons learned that their actions had consequences.

But Ori looked so utterly unhappy and resigned to his fate whenever he came to dine with them (and that was at least once a week, whenever they could manage it) that Thorin sometimes felt unsure. Maybe he should have followed Balin’s advice and just paid for the lad apprenticeship, instead of tying him for life to someone who had used him so cruelly.

 

A couple weeks after the great party for the boys’ engagement, Thorin decided the time had come to make sure Ori was prepared for his future life as a prince’s husband. He was a charming, clever young dwarf, but he’d need _more_ than that when he’d have to help Kili deal with nobles and merchants (and if Kili’s sense of responsibility and duty remained the same, he _would_ need help indeed). Ori had to learn diplomacy, politics, the links between the greatest neighbouring families as well as what they each owed their fortune, and more importantly, he had to learn how to _smile_.

After all, according to Dis, that was the one skill Thorin lacked the most when dealing with the pompous idiots surrounding them.

But that would come later. First, Thorin wanted to properly introduce the boy to the right people, give him his first taste of his future life. For this, he negotiated with Ori’s master, to ask him to give the boy another free day every week during which he’d be learning with Thorin. The master scribe readily agreed, clearly relieved that Ori wasn’t simply forced to stop his studies to dedicate himself to his new status.

“It’d be a waste,” the dwarf explained. “He’s got a gift with words, that kid. As long as they’re written, that is. He’ll compose the best of poetry and use the best calligraphy there is for it, but ask him to open his mouth, and he’ll do nothing but stutter. Still, he’s good with words, and he draws nicely. Would be a shame to not let him learn to use it.”

“And we would never force him to give up on this,” Thorin assured him. “My nephew wants his husband to have passions and talents of his own, rather than to merely be his husband.”

Mostly because Kili didn’t want a husband _at all_ , and because Ori would need to have a life of his own, but no one needed to know that.

 

The first time Thorin went to fetch Ori for his private tutoring, the lad had put on his very best clothes.

Thorin decided that the first step would be to buy him _better_ clothes. He knew Ari did her best with her limited resources, and for lower class dwarves her family managed well enough, but he would be taking Ori to see dwarves who had once been lords, and still acted and thought as such.

The boy didn’t look too offended when Thorin told him his intentions, but then again, Ori seemed to be resigned about... pretty much everything these days. He hadn’t always been so, sadly. Thorin remembered the days when the boy had been on more friendly terms with his nephews, and how full of life he’d been then... and with some luck he would grow like this again, with time.

Once Ori was properly dressed (with one of Fili’s tunics for now, they did not have time to have anything better made right then), Thorin took him to Gloin’s house, where he had to negotiate a thing or two for a mine owner. Gloin felt like a right place to start. He had the character of an old boar and the sense of humour of one, but he was an old friend, and he liked children. He’d be nice to Ori on account of his youth, if nothing else.

“Have you ever met him?” he asked Ori as they walked to Gloin’s house.

“His... his brother came once, when mother fell ill... and I’ve seen his son and daughters once or twice, but never...”

“I see. For today, it would be best if you just observed, and didn’t talk while we are there. I will ask you questions afterward though, so pay attention.”

Ori nodded, looking terrified. It might have worried Thorin, but his nephews usually wore the same expression when he told them he’d be asking questions, and so he had grown to accept that as a fact of life.

Luckily, they caught Gloin on a good day, and he didn’t make any difficulty. He rather patiently listened to Thorin’s demands, and was fairly polite in refusing to lend any money to Frern for the modifications he wanted to make in his mine. Gloin was also very curious about Ori, whom he had never seen before the engagement party, though he had heard a lot about him it seemed.

“The children say that you are a nice boy,” he told Ori. “Gimli likes you a fair deal. He says you invented a story for him, once.”

Ori nodded shyly, blushing and staring at his feet.

“What sort of story was it?” Thorin asked.

“I made Gimli a hero,” the boy stammered. “The… the princes had refused to play with him because they thought him too young, and I… I’m no good at sparring, so they didn’t want me with them either so… so I stayed with Gimli and to comfort him I… I invented a great story for… for him… I am glad he enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun with… with him, that day.”

“So did he,” Gloin assured him. “He’s been boasting ever since that he has a story about him, and he is making the twins jealous with it every chance he has. You should come see them sometimes. I’m sure the girls would like to meet you properly, and to get their own story.”

“I would be honoured, sir.”

Gloin laughed. “There’s no honour in there, child. You are my young cousin’s future husband, if anything it’s us who should be honoured to have you around. And if you really aren’t a fighter, I’m sure Gimli and Gimris will be glad to help with that.”

Ori blushed some more, but managed to mumble his thanks, and before he could protest, Gloin made an appointment with him to have him come see his children. The poor boy couldn’t have refused even if he had wanted… but it couldn’t hurt him anyway, Thorin decided. Gimli and the twins were a few years younger than Ori, and fairly rough sometimes, but it would be good for the boys to make friends who weren’t scribes like him, friends who would with some hope treat him better than Thorin’s nephews had.

“So, what did you think?” the king asked once they had left.

“He was… very nice?” Ori replied.

“I’m glad you think so.”

“He doesn’t seem to really care too much what others want though,” the boy noted. “He’s got an idea of how things have to be, and he won’t change his mind… oh, sorry, that was mean to say, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, you are right,” Thorin assured him. “Gloin is stubborn. It is not always a bad thing to be, especially not among the exiles of Erebor. We have to be ready to fight for ourselves after all. The Broadbeams aren’t always too happy to have us here, and people like Gloin can fight for our rights because it never occurs to him that anyone could object to the things he wants, not for long anyway.”

Ori nodded. “I think…” He hesitated, darting a look at Thorin and biting his lip.

“Yes, what do you think?” the king asked, as encouragingly as he could.

“I think you did not want him to give money to that person, for the mine,” Ori blurted out quickly. “I think you had promised to ask, and so you did, but you made sure that the answer would be no.”

Thorin stared at him in surprise.

“Frern claims he wants money to improve his mines, but I think he only seeks to go deeper, with no regard for his workers’ safety,” Thorin admitted. “I couldn’t refuse to ask Gloin on his behalf, but I didn’t want him to be lended any money for this. You are a very observant boy.”

The boy blushed redder than before, and tried to hide a smile.

Clever and observant... and _shy_ , for now.

It would be good if Ori became friend with Gimli and the twins, Thorin decided as they started walking home.

No one could stay shy very long with those three terrors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gimli has two younger twin sisters, Gimris (who is a little terror or a warrior, just as bad as her brother, if not worse) and Gilin (who is a terror too, just as stubborn as her father, but like her mother she is capable of more delicacy and patience... if it suits her plans)


	6. training together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Ori are encouraged to train together  
> it doesn't quite go the way Kili had hoped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick mention of marital abuse and marital rape. Neither happen, and they are both rejected quite firmly, but it's there.

It had been Dis’s idea, and Kili had never hated his mother so much as that day.

Suggesting that Fili and him trained with Ori?

It was _humiliating_. Ori was a stupid baby. A small, tiny, fat baby who was soft and stupid, and training was the one last thing Kili had. It wasn’t _fair_ to force him to share that too with Ori. It wasn’t fair to ask him to be nice even then, when really, the entire point of training was that he could get as nasty as he wanted, especially with Fili, because they knew each other so well that they couldn’t hurt one another even if they had tried. They could guess each other’s next move, could communicate without saying a word…

Ori couldn’t even communicate _with_ words.

Kili had barely ever heard his voice since they had become engaged.

Which hadn’t been a problem at first, until the day he’d come home to find Gloin’s wife Imris and her three children.

And Ori who was laughing with Gimli and the twins.

Really laughing.

He’d never laughed like that with Kili and Fili, too busy swooning every time they looked at him and looking impressed by everything they did… Though to be fair, they probably hadn’t given him many occasions to laugh. But still, that Ori would laugh like that, and look so happy…

The worse, though, was how afraid Ori became as soon as he saw Kili, and how his smile immediately disappeared. Nothing the kids could do would lift his mood again, either, even though they tried their best.

That hurt somehow.

Kili didn’t like Ori that much, but he liked even less the idea that he would marry someone who couldn’t be in the same room as him without looking so scared.

And now, he had to train with that person.

With someone who was afraid of him.

It had been one of Dwalin’s very first lesson when he’d been younger that fear was a danger in a fight, because people who were afraid did stupid things. Scared people were unpredictable.

Kili didn’t want to train with a scared baby.

But the things he wanted were of little importance.

  
  


Of course, _everyone_ had to come watch them, Kili thought bitterly when the day came for their first training session. Dis was probably there to make sure no one hurt stupid little baby Ori, as was Dori. Dwalin was there because he was always there. Gimli and the twins often hung out with Ori these days, so that wasn’t a surprise either.

Thorin, though.

Thorin probably had more important things to do than come and watch his nephews try to not kick baby Ori’s ass too hard. And yet there he was, sitting next to Dis and politely chatting with Dori.

Kili sighed, and turned to his brother… who had gone to sit with everyone else, leaving him alone with Ori. _Traitor_. Fili was nothing but a filthy traitor, letting him to deal with Ori alone, and with the way he was smiling, he knew just how annoyed Kili was, and he didn’t care one bit.

“Sorry,” a small voice said behind him. “That’s… that’s not my idea of… of a fun time either.”

Kili turned around, and glared at Ori.

“What’s your idea of fun, then? What do scribes even do for fun?”

Ori hunched up and shrugged, but didn’t answer. Typical. You could count on Ori to never have the backbone needed for a fight. You needed bones of stone for that, and Ori was all dirt and sand.

“What’s your weapon then?” Kili asked. “Do you even _have_ a preferred weapon?”

“Hammer.”

“You? With a hammer?” Kili sniggered. “Can you even lift one?”

“If… if I _have_ to.”

Kili frowned. Ori was still hunched up and still not looking at him, but there had been something in his voice… just the slightest hint of iron, something that _almost_ would have sounded like a dare if it had come from anyone else than Ori. But Ori didn’t dare people, not that little nothing of a scribe who was so afraid of everything…

Still, Kili was impressed when he saw the other dwarf pick a warhammer and lift it easily… and there definitely _was_ something challenging in Ori’s usually soft eyes when he looked at the prince then. Kili heard Gimli and the twins cheer somewhere (didn’t Gimris use a hammer too?) but that barely registered in his brain, because he was too busy watching Ori take his stance, his position far from perfect, but still _much_ better than expected.

The prince felt a little wary as he went to take his hammer (it was smaller than the one Ori had chosen, he noted… but it didn’t matter, because _he_ knew how to use it, whereas the scribe _didn’t_ )

“Ready?” Kili asked with a smirk, his position absolutely perfect, just like Dwalin had taught him.

Ori just nodded, looking so focused he almost seemed angry.

Kili grinned, and rushed ahead. He didn’t want to hurt Ori, just to show him that a fight wasn’t all about physical strength, and…

Ori avoided his attack effortlessly.

For a short second, Kili stopped, and he made the mistake of staring in surprise at the other dwarf. How had he even avoided… but then it was the prince’s turn to jump to the side, and Ori’s hammer almost hit him in the chest. Kili could only be glad it hadn’t touched him: he had a feeling it would have _hurt_.

It was just luck, he thought as he tried again to hit Ori, only to fail. He didn’t have more luck with his third attack, nor his fourth.

“You are actually good at this?” the prince pouted. “ _How_ are you good at this?”

“Nori,” the young scribe replied with a smile. It _wasn’t_ a nice smile, but thankfully, it didn’t say long. “Also, Gimli and Gimris. Your uncle encouraged it. Apparently, a prince’s husband must know how to defend himself.”

Kili grinned. “That’s just like Thorin to be paranoid,” he laughed. “There’s Dwalin to protect us, as well as other guards if it comes to it… or even me, if there’s real trouble.”

“Maybe. But who will protect me from _you_ , if not myself?”

The prince’s grinned disappeared, and he stared at his fiancé, unsure what to answer, unsure what to even _feel_. He knew that Ori was a little afraid of him, but he hadn’t thought… did Ori really think that Kili would hurt him, physically hurt him? Sure, he’d had a few harsh words sometimes, and he’d never reacted too well to the scribe’s attempts at making peace, but that was just because he didn’t want this engagement, it didn’t mean… Words were one thing, but he’d never _actually_ hurt Ori, it would be…

His train of thoughts was interrupted when Ori’s hammer hit him in the stomach.

The blow wasn’t half as hard as any of the ones Kili had avoided before. He’d endured much worse from Dwalin or Fili. But it still _hurt_ , and knowing that Ori, sweet, small, _delicate_ little Ori had been the one to hit him like that…

The cheers and laughter coming from their spectators only made it worse.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you?” Ori asked loud and clear, though he made no move to check on him, and he still held his hammer tightly. “I think we’d better stop. I don’t want to hurt you, my prince, even if it was just an accident.”

Kili glared at him.

“You did it on purpose.”

“I thought it was the point?” Ori retorted just a shade too innocently. “I thought we were supposed to fight together, and show each other what we were capable of? Well, I’ve… I’ve shown you. Try… try to remember that, once… once we’re married.”

 _So he really thinks I’ll try to hurt him one day_ , Kili thought, and just the idea of it made him sick. He wasn't the best of dwarves, and even less so where Ori was concerned, but he certainly wasn’t that bad, was he? He’d never… Surely, Ori had to know that Kili would never do something so awful as this? The prank Fili and him had played on the kid had been pretty mean, but there was a difference between trying to fool around with a pretty boy, and being ready to resort to violence to… to what, anyway?

Kili didn’t like Ori much, but he wasn’t stupid enough to try beating him just because they were going to end up in a loveless marriage. It wouldn’t solve anything.

Or did Ori think Kili would try to take him by force once they were married?

He really _was_ going to be sick.

The prince was almost grateful when his young cousins came running toward them, laughing and congratulating Ori on his nice fight. Gimris was beside herself with pride, claiming repeatedly that she’d been the one who taught him everything.

“Now that he’s had a taste of this, maybe our royal cousins will finally deign to fight with us?” she sneered with a wicked grin. “That is, if they _dare_. I must warn you, cousin Kili: I’m even better than Ori, and Gimli is almost as good.”

Kili glared at her, and he was about to answer something terribly impolite, but the sudden arrival of Thorin stopped him. His uncle disapproved of vulgarity. Among many other things. Kili wasn’t sure he approved of anything.

Maybe he approved of Ori, though, because he too congratulated the young scribe on his fight, and he looked _proud_.

“You and Kili make a good match,” Thorin claimed, and neither of the boy could refrain a grimace at that. “I am quite sure if you trained together more often, you children would make a wonderful team.”

“With all due respect, my king, I’d rather not,” Ori mumbled. “I don’t like doing this too much.”

Kili rolled his eyes. If the boy thought that an excuse such as ‘ _I don’t like this’_ was ever going to work on his uncle… nothing ever worked. Kili had tried everything, and it never _worked_.

Unless you were Ori, apparently.

“I won’t force you then,” Thorin announced, and Kili saw that his young cousins were just as stunned as him, though Ori didn’t seem surprised. “I am glad that you tried at least, and the two of you gave us a very nice show. I am sure there are other things the two of you can share, anyway.”   


“I’m sure there is,” Ori agreed, smiling shyly at the king. “I… I’m sure we’ll figure out something, in the end.”

Much to Kili’s surprise, Thorin smiled back, and it made him feel… jealous, he supposed. His uncle hadn’t smiled at him that much since the whole… thing with Ori had been discovered. And it wasn’t fair, because Fili was mostly forgiven now, but Kili wasn’t.

He had a feeling he’d never really be forgiven.

And _that_ hurt almost as much as the bruise that he knew was already forming on his stomach, but there was nothing he could do about it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am dealing with things in my life by updating an old, half abandonned fic no one cares about  
> because the only way to deal with anything is to torture your favourite characters


	7. at the king's side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori isn't entirely happy with this whole engagement thing  
> but at least, there is Thorin

Some people called Thorin a number of horrible thing, saying he was too proud, or cold, or that he had a heart of granite, but that wasn’t true, not at all. He’d never been anything but nice in Ori. It had been near two years since his horrible engagement to Kili, and without the constant presence of the king, Ori was sure he’d have run away long ago, maybe to join Nori.

Because really, apart from Thorin, everything was pretty bad.

  
  


The princes for a start were pretty bad. Kili always glared at him, and couldn’t open his mouth without saying something insulting… though that was to be expected, Ori supposed. Neither of them wanted the engagement. It hurt, because try as he might, there was always a part of him that admired him… Kili was awful to him, but he was so different with his brother or his cousins, or working at the forge… Ori thought there might always be a part of him that would love him, and he hated _that_ , because Kili hated _him_.

Kili was better than Fili, though.

Kili looked and acted as if he knew that something wrong had happened, whereas his brother had taken to pretending that everything was fine, that Ori and him were great friends, and that he was very happy about the engagement.

“We’re all going to live together now,” he told Ori once. “Might as well make the best of it. I wished my brother could have had a husband he loved, so that one of us at least would get a choice in that… but things are what they are, so we must all make an effort and accept it.”

It all sounded very reasonable, but Ori still felt upset about the whole thing. It was easy for Fili to move on. He wasn’t the one dealing with the actual consequences of everything.

But while it sometimes made him angry that Fili would forget so entirely how they had ended in that mess, the young scribe often wished that Dis, Dori and his mother would think of it a little less. No, he wasn’t happy at all about the whole thing. Yes, he knew that if he ever had any problems with his future husband, even once they were married, he’d just have to say, and they would come to his rescue. Yes, he knew that Kili couldn’t demand _anything_ of him.

Not that Kili would try to make demands of any sort. Ori had taken care of that, at least, thanks to that one training session they’d had. The prince talked to him even less since that day, and sometimes he glared at Ori in confusion rather than anger, as if there was something he couldn’t quite figure out...but at least he knew that Ori could defend himself, and so the scribe felt rather safe.

Most of the time.

Kili didn’t do or say anything to show that he wanted anything from his future husband, but according to Ori’s fellow apprentices, that didn’t mean anything.

“He’s a nob, and nobs take what they want,” Daren told him one afternoon, while their master was outside dealing with business. “He says he’s your One, but that doesn’t mean a thing. Lady Bolin said she was Ena’s One, and we all know how that ended.”

“Didn’t ze cheat on her?” Orth asked.

“That’s what people say, but that’s not the truth. Ena was mad in love with her, ze’d never have done that. The lady had _no reason_ to do that, to lock zir up like that… she just wanted to keep zir to herself.”

“Kili won’t do that,” Ori protested softly. “He’s not like that.”

And really, Ori was _almost_ sure of that. Kili wasn’t the best of dwarves, and he was quite mean sometimes, but he wasn’t bad like that… Ori’s warning to him had just been, well, it had been just in case, and also because they’d just gotten news from Ena a few days before the training session, and Ori had been nervous.

He wouldn’t have called Ena a friend, but they got along pretty well, before ze got married. Ena had been such a cheerful young dwarf, always making them laugh, and now ze wasn’t allowed out of zir wife’s house, or only with a very mean looking dwarf

“Lady Bolin wasn’t like that either, when they were just engaged,” Daren claimed. “She was always nice when she came here, and we all liked her. Who’s to say your prince won’t be like her in the end?”

Ori bit his lip. “Lady Bolin is a Broadbeam though, and so is Ena. It works different for them, doesn’t it?”

“Nobles are nobles,” Daren retorted. “He’s all smile and charm now, but when he’ll decide that it’s time he gets what he wants, he’ll just take it. That’s what people like him _do_.”

Everyone agreed on that, all of them nodding and adding their own little “that’s how it is” or “everyone knows that”. Ori lowered his head and hunched his shoulder, trying to ignore them. He knew they were trying to help, just like his mother and Dori and Lady Dis were also trying to help whenever they told him that no one was ever allowed to hurt him.

Quite frankly, he wished everyone would stop helping him.

  
  


Everyone except Thorin.

 _He_ could help all he wanted.

Mostly because he was actually helpful, Ori had decided. Everyone else was treating him as if he were unwanted, or fragile, but Thorin just seemed to think that he was in a difficult situation, and had to learn how to deal with it.

Ori had been so terrified the first time Thorin had come to pick him up. It was one thing to flirt with princes, especially when said princes weren’t very regal and were princes mostly in their family’s head, but Thorin was a true, proper king, raised in Erebor to rule. He might not have a kingdom anymore, but he was still as much of a king as anyone could be.

And that king had come to Ori’s house, and talked to him as if he were… maybe not quite his equal, but at least someone worthy of his time. It had been terrifying… and rather nice. Thorin Oakenshield, as cold as the mithril of Khazad Dum, was trying to make him feel comfortable. If that wasn’t a flattering thought, then nothing was.

Ori hadn’t expected that to last, of course. He’d been fairly sure that Thorin was just putting on a show, and that after a while he would just stop pretending, the way his nephews had.

Instead, Thorin had warmed up, and become… friendly.

He didn’t just tell Ori how to act in front of noble dwarves and mine owners, how to dress and walk and talk and act. He also asked Ori about his work as a scribe, how his apprenticeship was going, how long he had left before he was a journeyman.

“Your master has nothing but compliments for you,” Thorin had assured him. “And Balin too says that you are quite good at your craft, probably better than he was at your age.”

“They are too kind. Daren’s hand is more legible than mine, and Ena was the real artist…I’m not bad, but I’m not nearly good enough.”

“I cannot judge of that, of course. I have never seen your work yet. But I am sure that it is far better than you seem to believe. if you ever show me what you are capable of, I promise to give you my impartial opinion.”

Ori had just smiled then, because of course the king was just being _polite_.

He’d had to reconsider that idea when Thorin had several times mentioned that he would like to see what sort of things Ori did for his Master.

He even did it one evening in front of Ari, after one of those  days together where he taught Ori how to be a nob.

“Do you mean you’ve never seen what he does?” Ari had exclaimed. “Oh, that boy is just so secretive! I’m sure even the princes haven’t seen his books…”

“I see. Then it was wrong of me to insist that way,” Thorin replied. “I will not ask again.”

Ari smiled at him, clearly pleased that someone at last was showing any sort of respect for her son’s wishes, and it could have been it. _Should_ have been it.

“I don’t mind showing you,” a voice said instead, and Ori realized it was his own. “It’s all in my room though. Would you prefer to have me bring them here, or can you come with me?”

“Books are heavy, and I am not so old that I cannot walk, as long as your mother sees no problem with it?”

Ari smirked, and patted the king on the shoulder.

“If you were a hundred years younger, I could worry about propriety,” she chuckled. “And even like that, if I didn’t know you… but you’re his uncle, or you might as well be. You can go, old boy, I don’t fear that you’ll ravish my baby.”

“I’m not sure he’d let me anyway,” Thorin retorted with a small grin. “He is more than capable of defending himself.”

Ori felt his cheeks heat up, and he glared at the ground, unsure whether he should join their joke, or be angry that his mother would even joke on something like that after all she’d warned him against Kili, or if he was just a little offended and hurt that the idea that Thorin and him could do anything improper was so ridiculous to them both.

For some reason the third one seemed very likely to be true, and wasn’t that stupid. Thorin was old and a king, and while he was nice, Ori wasn’t stupid enough to ever get any ideas about someone who, as Ari had said, would very soon be his uncle.

“Once you’re all done making fun of me, maybe I can show you my things,” he eventually said, as dryly as he could manage. “Or was _that_ a joke too?”

“Don’t take it so personally, jewel,” Ari protested. “Thorin is an old friend, just like his sister. I’m sorry we got a little carried away. Go show his majesty your sketch. Do you still have the ones you did of Nori? These were very good, probably the best you’ve ever done.”

“I gave one to No, the one that was really nice… the others aren’t that great, really…”

“I would love to see them anyway,” Thorin said carefully, as if Ori were some important dwarf he had offended. “Unless you have changed your mind?”

If he hadn’t been blushing before, then Ori certainly was now. His entire face felt on fire. Thorin seemed so sincerely worried that he might have changed his mind… So Ori just shrugged, not quite trusting himself to speak, and pointed a finger in the general direction of his room to ask the king to follow him.

It wasn’t until he opened the door that he remembered that his bedroom was a terrible mess. There were clothes on the floor, and his bedding was covered with ink stains, and everything was globally just _not_ where it was supposed to be. He almost closed the door again right there and then, but it was too late, and Thorin had seen everything, and he knew now that Ori was the very worst person ever who couldn’t even put away his dirty clothes, and…

The king looked around, and laughed.

“Well, in this at least you are well matched with Kili.”

“It’s not like that usually!”

“Isn’t it?”

Ori grimaced. “No. Sometimes… sometimes it’s worse. Dori says a cat would lose her kittens in there.”

“It’s not as neat as it could be,” Thorin admitted. “But I shan’t judge you for it. I remember my room in Erebor, and Frerin’s. Dis was always very organized though, and mother kept comparing us to her.”

“So your sister is the Dori of your family. That explains a lot. Still, sorry for the mess, I didn’t… think anyone would come in here.”

Thorin just smiled kindly, but Ori froze.

He really hadn’t expected anyone in his bedroom. Mostly because he had never had anyone who wasn’t his mother or brothers in his room. Thorin was the very first stranger he allowed inside, and that idea made him… uncomfortably warm. A bit like he used to do sometimes when he looked at the princes (he still did, but he was now trying to be in denial about it) only he couldn’t be the same at all, because he’d been in love with these two idiots, whereas Thorin… Thorin was old enough to be his father, so really, it wasn’t the same.

Still, it was a confusing, uncomfortable idea, and so to get rid of it Ori quickly went to fetch the box in with he kept his sketchbooks, and picked the newest one to show it. It was nearly good enough, but the rest of it was much worse, so it would have to do.

“These are excellent,” Thorin exclaimed when he was just on the second page. “The forge, and the roasted chicken shop and… ah, Kili of course.”

“I made his nose too thin.”

“No, it’s fairly close to the truth. He isn’t the handsomest boy around… but he does have a unique smile, and you captured that perfectly.”

Ori blushed again. “Thank you, your majesty. It’s very kind of you to say that.”

“I only tell the truth,” Thorin replied, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You have great talent, and not just for drawing. My nephew doesn’t know his luck… though I hope he will, someday. Any dwarf would be lucky to have your affection, and I wish he could see it.”

Thorin’s hand felt burning at first, but at the mention of his engagement to Kili, Ori felt his entire body turn to cold stone.

“We’ll see,” he mumbled. “Even if he never sees anything in me, it’s fine. I’m used to it now, and I… I’m not unhappy, you know. Some bits of it aren’t great, but I like spending time with you. You are fun to be around.”

It was a very stupid thing to say, and Ori wished he hadn’t said it, but it had escaped him and now Thorin would think him weird… because what sort of a person said things like that?

After what had happened with the princes, Ori should have learned when to keep silent. Saying things, even true things, only ever brought problems and it made people hate him and…

“I am honoured that appreciate my company,” Thorin said, still smiling. “I cannot say that I have been called fun very often.”

“But you are!” Ori exclaimed quickly. “I mean. I mean… well, I mean it! It’s fun to watch you deal with nobs… I mean, with _important people_ , because they clearly annoy you so much, and sometimes you let it show and they don’t get it and it’s fun and… sorry, I’m… saying stupid things, aren’t I?”

Thorin only chuckled.

“No, I think you actually understood fairly well how it works. You are frighteningly observant when you want. Maybe when you are old enough, and Balin decides to retire, I will give you his job. You might be good at it. And then we could make fun together of people who think they are important.”

Ori smiled brightly. It was a nice idea. It was just a joke of course, because the king couldn’t possibly even consider taking someone like him as his advisor, but the thought was still pleasing.

“I’d be honoured to serve you, my king!”

“And I would be honoured to have you by my side, Ori.”

Ori blushed again, but this time he didn’t care because there was a faint trace of pink on Thorin’s cheeks too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ena is genderqueer because I couldn't decide if ze should be a girl or a boy  
> And then I decided to not decide  
> So now I'm writing a fic where genderqueer is an accepted gender for dwarves


	8. coloured inks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili thinks about Ori

Kili stared at the inks.

There were many colours on that little stall at the market, some of which he hadn’t even known could exist for inks. They cost a little fortune, but they were so beautiful… and Ori’s birthday was approaching. Not just any birthday either, his fifty fifth one. Ori was going to legally be allowed to enter contracts, as long as he had his family’s approval. Which meant that after nearly five years of being engaged to each other, it would become possible for them to marry.

The prince still wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d had time time to get used to the idea, he supposed. And Ori wasn’t all that bad, maybe.

He was rather pretty, for one thing. Kili had never paid too much attention to that, when Fili and him had first started playing at seducing the boy. Well, he had noticed that Ori wasn’t ugly of course, or he wouldn’t have played at all, but he just hadn’t been his type. Kili had a thing for big, large dwarves, preferably with dark hair… and Ori was nothing like that.

But he had a certain charm, and sometimes Kili had to admit that he enjoyed looking at his future husband… especially if Ori wasn’t aware that Kili was there, because then he would smile, and he did have a rather nice smile.

Kili wished he would smile at him sometimes, but he understood why he didn’t.

Which was part of the reason why he hesitated so much in front of the bottles of ink.

They were going to be married, sooner or later, but for now Ori hated him, and if he had to be very honest, Kili had to admit that he had every reason for it. But they couldn’t spend the rest of their lives at odds. Someone had to make a peace offering, and Kili knew it had to be him, since he’d been the one to give offence in the first place.

And Ori was an artist.

Everyone talked about how good he was at drawing. Kili hadn’t seen many of his fiancé’s works, but the few sketches he’d caught a glimpse of had been pretty good. And then there was that portrait of Thorin that Ori had drawn… that one had been _excellent_ , and Kili had even tried to compliment the scribe on it… but Ori had just thought he was making fun of him again.

Maybe if Kili gave him a nice present, something precious that Ori could actually enjoy, then the younger dwarf wouldn’t think Kili only wanted to laugh at him?

Or maybe he would take it the wrong way.

Maybe he would think Kili was just trying to buy him, now that they might be allowed to consummate their “love”, as Gimli and his sisters liked to remind the prince.

Which was stupid, because Kili wasn’t quite sure he wanted Ori in such a way. Ori was pretty, and clever, and he even was fun when he wasn’t around his future husband… but it was difficult to feel any desire for someone who watched you as if you might try to hurt him at any moment…

That was also part of why Kili wanted to buy the inks.

To show that he wasn’t all bad. That he could take in consideration what Ori liked. That he knew what Ori could like, because he was paying attention.

It would be a nice way of offering his friendship, if nothing else.

It would come too late, and he had no way of knowing if Ori still _wanted_ his friendship, but he had to try.

They were going to live the rest of their lives together.

They _had_ to try to get along. Or else, people would start noticing that Ori never wanted to be in the same room as him, that he never smiled at him, never even talked to him… and they would talk.

People loved to talk, especially if they could find something mean to say.

But if Ori and him could at least get along…

Kili looked at the inks, and sighed.

They were expensive.

But if it could make Ori hate and fear him a little less, then it would be worth it. 


	9. Ori's birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the chapters for this are so short... D: I just... don't... really know what I'm doing with that fic?

“I’ve got a present for you,” Kili said, and just as he feared, his future husband immediately tensed, looking like a hare ready to run away at the first noise… but Thorin was right next to him, and the younger dwarf didn’t escape as often when the king was around. The prince forced himself to smile anyway. If he played this right, Ori might be less terrified and hating in the future.

“Why?” the scribe asked.

“It’s your birthday, for one thing. Also, I found something, and I… I thought you might like it. Here!”

Kili presented to him the (rather badly) wrapped package he’d kept behind his back. Ori looked at it suspiciously, and the prince sighed, but kept his smile on.

“Take it, it’s for you. But be careful, it’s fragile.”

“What is it?”

Ori still wasn’t taking it, and Thorin was looking at them with interest. Kili had to play it right.

“It’s a surprise,” he said carefully. “I… I really think you might like it.”

The boy shared a look with Thorin, who nodded encouragingly, and at last Ori took his present, holding it as if it might explode as he went to put it on a table to open it. Kili stopped breathing until Ori took the first ink bottle out, a beautiful emerald green, inspecting it as if it might be poison.

“It’s from Gondor,” the prince explained quickly, suddenly terrified that he’d done something wrong again, because Ori wasn’t saying anything, wasn’t even smiling. “It’s ink, green. I didn’t really know which colours to pick, I’ve never seen your coloured works, but green you can use for lots of things, right? And same goes for blue and red, and the golden one was so pretty I couldn’t resist… but if you don’t like them I’ll try find others and… do you like them?”

Kili bit his lips. He’d spoken just a tiny bit louder than he should have, and now everyone was looking at them, which was very bad. Ori couldn’t very well say if he didn’t like them now, and he might think that Kili had trapped him. Again.

The scribe put back the bottle on the table, and took a step toward Kili. The prince flinched when Ori put a hand on his cheek, but instead of the punch he half expected, he felt cold lips against his.

Ori looked as confused as Kili felt when he pulled back.

“I like them,” he said, sounding almost surprised. “That was… nice of you. Thanks?”

Kili nodded, unsure what else to do. The best he’d expected out of this was for Ori to just thank him and that would have been a first step toward… not being so awkward around each other. The kiss wasn’t part of the plan at all… except it should have been, Kili realized. With everyone around, and the two of them engaged, of course Ori had been forced to put on a show. Kili should have waited, maybe given the ink in private… but then Ori might have thought that the prince was trying to seduce him?

Kili almost sighed.

There just was no way for him to get this right, was there?

“I’d say it’s time for a dance!” Fili claimed then, somewhere behind them. “Hey, lovebirds, what do you say?”

Kili winced. It just kept getting worse and worse… and Ori looked at Thorin again (why was he looking at him so often? Ori was almost always looking at Thorin when they were in a same room, even when they weren’t talking… and they were talking often enough, weren’t they?) and when the king smiled at him (there was something strained about his smile, wasn’t there?) Ori sighed and took Kili’s hand to drag him toward the part of the room where everyone was already making place for dancers.

“Sorry,” the prince whispered. “I swear… I swear I didn’t mean for that to happen… I’m sorry you had to kiss me, and now to dance with me… I was just trying to be nice, but I… sort of failed, sorry.”

“That’s three ‘sorry’ in one sentence,” Ori noted, his voice just as low. “That’s almost as nice as the inks. And don’t worry. I didn’t _have_ to kiss you, I did it because I… wanted to, I guess. I… I really liked your present.”

“Really?” Kili asked, sounding far more eager than he’d have liked.

“Really. Thank you.”

They stopped talking after that, because neither of them was a good enough dancer to have a discussion as they moved… but it was still rather fun. Kili had never liked dancing all that much before, but he was starting to see the appeal… and Ori almost relaxed after a while, even smiling a little here and there.

He really was pretty when he smiled.

Of course, he was even prettier when he danced with Thorin a little later, because then his smile even reached his eyes. And there was a lot more freedom in the way he moved… as if he cared less about doing things right when he was with Thorin, and more about just having fun.

Kili wasn’t sure why that main his heart ache.

But it took all of his self control to not ask Ori for a second dance. He had no right to it, after all.  



	10. time spent together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Kili learn to be around each other, at last.  
> Thorin isn't sure he likes it.

“If you don’t stop moving, I’ll never manage to draw you,” Ori grumbled, and immediately Kili went as still as a statue, which made both his uncle and his mother smile.

There had been a change between the boys, Thorin could see it. They weren’t acting friendly as such, not for anyone who knew them enough, but they also weren’t as cold to each other as they used to be. Which was excellent of course, since the boys were going to get married, sooner or later. Thorin was glad that his nephew and his future husband were learning to get along.

It was a good thing.

Certainly, Thorin had rather… enjoyed the closeness that had built over the past few years between him and Ori, and he hoped that their friendship would remain, even once the scribe became more comfortable around his husband-to-be, but it was a good things that the kids were learning to be together.

“You’re moving again,” Ori noted, trying not to smile and clearly enjoying very much to be given any sort of power over Kili. The fact that the prince had asked to have his portrait drawn probably made it only better, Thorin supposed. And it was good that Kili was suddenly showing such interest in his fiancé’s work. Anything that could bring these two closer was good.

If Thorin repeated it often enough, he might start believing it.

“I’m just breathing!” Kili whined. “I’m allowed to breathe, aren’t I?”

“Only if you can do it without _moving_ so much.”

Thorin couldn’t help a chuckle at the cheer authority in Ori’s voice (it sounded very much like him, he realized, and the idea that the boy had picked anything from him pleased him immensely). The young scribe heard him, of course, and smiled at him, that bright, honest smile that Thorin had once thought gone forever after the engagement had started.

“If I stop breathing, I’ll die,” Kili protested, now frowning.

“And then maybe you’ll stop moving,” Ori sighed. “Though with you, I’m not even sure it’d stop you. Look, it’s fine if you changed your mind, lots of people don’t like to pose, and…”

“But if I don’t pose you won’t draw me, and I really want you to!” Kili pouted, before looking away guiltily. “Sorry. I know I can’t make any demands of you, sorry. If you’d rather stop, we can stop.”

Ori seemed to take a moment to think about it, and Thorin could just see the fear in his nephew’s eyes… they had come a long way since the day Fili and Kili had grudgingly admitted to have toyed with Ori’s feelings. The king had never expected to see his nephew ever start liking his future husband, but there they were…

And it was a good thing, of course.

Beside Ori too liked Kili, even after all that had happened, even with everyone around him filling his head with awful stories of noble dwarves taking by force the commoners to which they were attached while no one moved to help… Ori had laughed the first time he’d repeated those stories to Thorin, and explained how everyone in his family kept telling him that they would protect him if it happened… it was a wonder the boy even agreed to be in the same room as Kili, really. It made Thorin want to have a talk with Ari, as well as with his sister. Kili was trying to act better, and maybe it was time they all stopped treating him like a monster, especially since they had all forgiven Fili long ago.

“Maybe we should stop for now,” Ori decided eventually. “You’ve been here for a long while, and you’ve done fairly well… we can continue another time. Maybe tomorrow?”

Kili jumped from the chair where he sat, nodding eagerly as he stretched.

“Sounds like a plan! Hey, I… I was thinking… Would you… would you maybe come with me to the training ground so I could teach you how to use a bow?”

Both Ori and Thorin stared at him in surprise, and even Dis looked up from her accounting book.

“It’s just that I’ve been thinking,” the prince quickly explained, sounding rather defensive. “You’ve got nice, strong hands, you’re good using them, and sure, you’re good with a hammer and that’s a good weapon, but since you’re a scribe and all, it’s maybe best if you don’t get into the heart of fighting, you know? ‘Cause scribes have to survive and tell the stories, right? So a long range weapon would really be the best thing for you, right? And I’m not too bad with a bow, if I say so myself, so I… I might teach you a thing or two, right?”

“Oh. But I was supposed to go with your uncle to talk to mister Gloin about the extension in the copper mine?”

Kili looked as if he had been struck. Clearly he hadn’t noticed the hesitation in Ori’s voice… but Thorin had, and it somehow pained him. It was the first time he was seeing the boy even hesitating about doing something else when they had planned a visit of that sort… but of course, spending time with Kili must have been a more appealing prospect than to discuss politics with a bunch of old dwarves… even if Ori had always seemed to enjoy that so far.

“I’m sure my brother can manage that alone,” Dis claimed then. “My poor Ori, it must be so boring for you, spending so much time with that grumpy old thing… especially if he’s taking you to see Gloin of all people.”

“It’s not boring at all,” Ori protested with a slight blush, smiling shyly at Thorin. “I like that very much. It’s very interesting and fun.”

The king couldn’t refrain a smile of his own, though it disappeared when Dis started laughing.

“Oh, Ori dearest, you don’t have to be so polite you know. If Thorin can claim high and loud that he finds politics boring, then so can you, don’t worry. Now, I’ll have to say, I quite agree with Kili when he says it’d be good for you to know how to shoot. So you boys should go and work on that, hm? And Kili, if you see your brother, please send him home and remind him it’s his turn to cook.”

“Yes, mother,” the prince replied, before turning to his husband to be. “But… really, Ori, it’s okay if… if you don’t want to. I mean, you really are already very good with a hammer, so you don’t really need… more. It was just an idea, nothing more.”

Ori looked at Kili, then Dis, and for a long moment he stared at Thorin before shrugging in defeat.

“No, you’re right,” he sighed sadly. “It’d be good to know about one more weapon, I s’ppose… So let’s do that.”

Kili grinned, and as soon as Ori had put away his drawing things, they left together. Which was a good thing, Thorin reminded himself. The boys needed to spend time together, especially now that they were a little less wary toward each other, especially now that Ori was old enough to maybe take their engagement to the next step…

“We’ll have to start thinking of marriage,” Dis said suddenly, as if she had read his thoughts. “I think they’ve made progress, and they could deal with it… and everyone is asking me about it. After all the show we made about them being so in love, it’s a little strange that we aren’t giving people a date already.”

“They’re still young.”

“I wasn’t much older when I married,” the princess claimed. “And we were openly saying that the match had been arranged. For a mariage of… ‘love’, it is strange that we would lose too much time. Beside, I think they really do like each other, you know. Have you seen how Kili is trying so hard to get his attention now? It is rather sweet, I think. He’s so careful…”

“He’d better be,” Thorin grunted. “After what he’s done last time he showed an interest in that boy!”

Dis stared at him strangely. For a moment, the king feared that his sister would realize that his affection for his nephew’s future husband were sometimes almost more than they should have been…

“You think Kili might be toying with him again?” she asked. “I’ve considered it, you know… but he must have learned his lesson, don’t you think?”

“I think he is sincere,” Thorin assured her. “I’m not sure he knows for sure what he feels for the boys, but he still feels it sincerely. Ori himself told me that Kili had never put much effort in pretending when they were… playing with him, so I do not see why he suddenly would. But what happened still lies between them, and Kili could easily hurt him without meaning to.”

Which was the truth, Thorin thought. It was part of what displeased him in the way the boys were slowly growing closer. It wasn’t that he was jealous (the very notion was ridiculous) but just that he was worried about a boy he had grown to like immensely over the past few years. That was all there was to it.

Dis nodded.

“You have a point. Still, I think we can’t push away the wedding, and it really would be good for them… I didn’t care much for Vili before we married, but once we started living together it wasn’t so bad… and then when I finally let him into my bed, we started really getting along,” the princess chuckled.

Thorin clenched his fists. He could withstand the idea of Ori and Kili getting along, he had even taken fairly well their brief kiss at Ori’s birthday, but the idea of more… it was wrong, and after all that Dis had told the young scribe that no such things could ever be expected of him, Thorin was surprised she could find anything to joke about in that.

“So then? When do we marry them?” she insisted.

“You won’t leave me alone until I have given a date, will you?”

Her large smile was an answer in itself. Thorin sighed. It felt rather unfair to be deciding this without even giving the boys a chance to speak their minds, but he knew his sister. She had made her decision, and now the world had to accept it.

“I was planning on going South soon, and I wanted to take Fili and Kili with me,” he said. “When we come back… then we can have the wedding.”

“Excellent. I’ll go tell Ari, I think she should be fine with that…”

“And if she’s not, you’ll just blame it all on me.”

“You are king, brother. What are you for, if not to take the blame?”

Any other day, Thorin would have found something to reply to his sister’s usual remark on the usefulness of kings, but not this time.

He felt too much like he had condemned Ori to think of joking.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I feel bad because honestly I'm totes writing a soap opera here, and everyone is probably OoC, and I think I should feel bad  
> but at the same time, fuck that, I'm having too much fun to stop


	11. unwanted love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Kili learn that a date has been decided for their wedding.

When Thorin took him to his office after lunch and told him, the news hit Ori harder than he’d have thought. Things had been… not quite so bad with Kili lately, and they even smiled at each other sometimes, had managed to laugh together, planning ridiculous ways to dye Fili’s hair green (Ori couldn’t quite remember how they’d started _that_ conversation, but they had come up with a _dozen_ plans, and it had been _fun_ ). 

They were starting to tolerate each other, just starting.

Being reminded that they had to get married at some point was not something the young scribe needed at the moment. He’d been perfectly content between his careful friendship with Kili, and the… great affection there was with Thorin. But the news of a marriage had disturbed that fragile balance. It was a lot harder to dream of Thorin’s arms and lips when people kept reminding him that soon he’d be allowed to accept (or more likely, be allowed to _refuse_ ) another dwarf’s arms. 

And Thorin must have thought the same, because he was stiff and cold as he told Ori that a day had been decided for the wedding. He wasn't Ori's Thorin then. He was a king, distant and unfeeling. 

"So, this is it then," the boy spat. "It's the end of everything."

"I wish you would not think of it as an end," Thorin sighed tiredly. "It is the beginning of a new life for you. I know Kili and you didn't have the best of starts, but you have grown close again lately, and..."

"But I don't even want him!"

"Ori, my dear boy, this isn't..."

"It's true! I don't want Kili, I want you!"

Ori gasped, and pressed a hand against his own mouth. Thorin stared at him with wide eyes, as if he couldn't believe the young scribe had dared to say something so outrageous. 

It had never been Ori's plan to let the king know about his feelings. Thorin was going to be his uncle by alliance, loving him was almost as dreadful as if he'd fallen for his mother's brother. It _should_ have remained a secret, but since that had failed, Ori decided he had nothing to lose anymore: he'd already lost the only thing that mattered.

"It's true," he insisted quickly, his voice higher than usual. "I... I love you, I really do!"

"Ori, no... You don't know what..."

"I do know! I know my own mind, and I know my own heart, and I know that I love you!"

"Ori, we _can't_."

Ori's eyes widened.

 _We can't_. 

Of all the things Thorin could have told him in that moment, when no one could have blamed for being disgusted or amused by the unwanted love of a child...

And it wasn't _you_ can't,  it was a _we_ can't, which meant...

"That isn't what I... Ori, please do not..."

"If I were not engaged to your nephew," Ori said carefully,  "would you want me the way I want you?"

"I cannot..."

"I am going to spend the next two hundred years tied to a dwarf who has nothing but contempt for me. Don't I deserve to know it if there ever was anyone who loved me?"

Thorin looked away then, and it felt like a victory to Ori. The king didn't shy away from hard truths when he had to, but he rarely lied, and never at all to Ori... 

"Kili doesn't..."

"I do not care what Kili does or doesn't. I want to know what _you_ think of me. Please. Don't I deserve this at least?"

Thorin winced.

"Ori, do not ask this of me. You are engaged to my youngest nephew. Even if I did feel more than friendship for you, I could not tell you... but you are dear to me, dearer than I ever thought... a very dear friend, but never more than that, no matter what we could wish."

Ori nodded hesitantly. It was more than he could ever have hoped for, and not nearly enough. It hinted at so much, only to deny it all. It was a dream and a torture, and seeing that Thorin seemed as pained as him wasn't really a consolation.

"I have said what I had to, and more than I should have," Thorin sighed. "You should go back with the others now. I will come soon, I need to... take care of something first."

Ori nodded again, and left.

When he came back in the main room, he saw Kili alone near the fireplace, and he broke into tears.

 

* * *

 

Kili stared at the fire, unsure what to do or even feel.

So they really were going to get married then. He'd long wondered if something wouldn't happen, if Ori wouldn't decide he didn't want this after all... he could have broken off the engagement,  probably, if he had decided to reveal the truth behind it... but instead he had chosen to accept it, to play along, as that had to be a good sign, hadn't it?

Kili hoped that Ori wanted it, because he probably did. He wasn't fully sure what he felt for Ori, but when Dis had told him the wedding was being planned, the prince had felt it wasn't such a dreadful thing after all. Five years earlier, the engagement had been the worse thing to have ever happened to him, but now...

Ori wasn't the partner he'd have picked for himself if he'd had a choice, but he was a good dwarf, and clever, and talented, and pretty too. Kili wouldn't have chosen him, but he couldn't regret entirely what had happened, not anymore.

Not that he could tell that to Ori, of course. Not quite that way. But he could maybe tell his future husband that he liked him, at least. Speaking of love would have been promising more than he was sure to feel, but he did _like_ Ori. And as soon as the young scribe would come back from his conversation with Thorin... Certainly, Thorin was telling him what Dis had just told Kili,and it might be the best moment for the prince to tell him that he liked him. 

It was a good plan, Kili thought. So when the door opened, he turned to his future husband, and... 

Ori was crying. 

That felt like a slap. Certainly, Kili hadn't expected him to dance and sing and run to his arms. But he'd thought that they had reached a stage where getting married was a fact a life, not a tragedy. He had thought things were better between them. Clearly, he had been wrong. 

Unsure what to do, he took a step toward his fiancé. 

"Ori, are you..." 

"What you want now?" the scribe sobbed softly. "What have I done wrong this time?"

"Nothing! You did nothing wrong, just... Are you okay?" 

It was a stupid question, he realized it, and it earned him a joyless snigger from Ori. 

"No, I'm really not okay, if you must know. I am going to marry someone who hates me, while the dwarf I love and who I think loves me back is... I cant even be with him, ever, because I'm engaged to you. So no, really, I can't say I'm okay." 

Kili felt his heart clench painfully. Ori was in love with someone? It wasn't possible, it wasn't fair, not when Kili was just starting to really appreciate him, not when he was half sure that with only a little more time, he could be in love with Ori. 

He wondered if it had been that sort of pain the young scribe had felt when the princes had told him that they felt nothing for him. 

"You know the worse though?" Ori asked with a grimace. "The worse is, even if I love him, even if he is better than you will ever be, even if you've always made it so clear that you don't like me... I'm such an idiot that I still like you."

Kili blushed.

It was the right moment. He had to tell Ori that he liked him, he had to do it now, to let him know he wasn’t marrying someone who hated him… it was his chance, his one chance to maybe make things… not right as such, but at least better.

“I… I’ll be going away for a while with uncle,” he said, unsure how to start. “Just a couple month, going South… there might be a couple orcs and goblins that way, but we should be okay, but… before I go, I wanted to say…”

“I hope you die there.”

Ori’s voice had been barely a whisper, but it had been enough to shut Kili up.

“I really do,” the scribe insisted, tears forming again at the corners of his eyes. “It’d be so much _easier_ without you around.”

Kili stared at him, unsure what to do or thing, wondering if he was going to be sick because his entire chest was clenching painfully and his stomach was twisting, because Ori wanted him dead.

“I’m going home,” Ori sniffed, his head high. “Goodbye.”

The prince nodded, and didn’t try to stop him when he left.

Kili had long thought that having to get married to Ori was a punishment for his mistake all these years ago.

But he wondered now if having to marry Ori when the other dwarf didn’t want him anymore wasn’t a much worse fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that's it  
> this is as far as I had planned that story  
> I now have exactly zero idea what could happen  
> I'll probably bring Nori into the equation, because it is a scientific fact that everything is better with Nori in it, but that's about all I know.


	12. Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori comes home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to compensate the angst of the last chapter, have some Nori  
> I'm sorry the chapters for this are so short sometimes oTL

> _Nori,_
> 
> _Please come home. I need to get away from here. I am thinking of running away, with or without your help, but it would be easier if you were here._
> 
> _Ori._

  
  


The letter had been a little dramatic maybe, but every single word in it had felt true when Ori had sent it, two days before Thorin and his nephews left town.

Everything had just been so _dreadful_ since the day he’d been told the day of his wedding.

Thorin had avoided him since that day, which wasn’t a surprise, but still hurt. The king pretexted that he was busy with preparing the trip South, and Ori pretended to believe there was nothing more to it. Still, it hurt terribly to have lost that closeness they had shared, and the young scribe wished he had stayed silent, so they might have pretended a while longer that there was nothing but friendship between them.

Kili wasn’t any better, and Ori couldn’t blame him for it, after the horrible things he’d said. The prince kept finding excuses to never be near him, so much so that Dis had asked Ori if something had happened. Ori had lied. He felt too awful about the truth. He knew he should have gone to Kili, to tell him that he didn’t really want him dead… But he didn’t. If he went to Kili, the prince might ask him about the _other_ things he’d said, about who he loved, about the way he still felt about Kili… and that was a conversation he didn’t want to have. Somehow, having Kili thinking Ori hated him was better than having to admit he liked him.

But at the same time, it felt like a taste of his future. This was going to be his life for the next two hundred years. A husband he didn’t dare to like, and a lover whom he could never even kiss.

The letter to Nori had been the result of a moment of despair. It had been more about telling himself that things were fairly bad than about getting any help from a brother who hadn’t given news in ten years, a brother who probably didn’t care… 

Then Thorin and Kili had left, and while Ori missed them both, it had been easier like that, so any thoughts of running away had disappeared.

  
  


He’d never expected to come back from his master’s one night, and find Nori sprawled on his bed, chewing on nuts and checking one of his sketchbooks.

Since neither his mother nor Dori had said anything about Nori being there, it meant he’d come in through the window. Secretly. As always. So Ori carefully closed the door behind him, to keep the secret.

“Hello, No. Been a while.”

“You called and I came,” Nori retorted, looking worried. “I’m not the brother of the century, but when my favourite baby bro says he needs to escape, I’ve got to be here for him.”

Ori bit his lip, feeling bad about his letter… But at the same time, he’d missed his brother a whole lot… so he ran to him to hug him as tight as he could. And Nori, who was never a physical dwarf, hugged him back, a sure sign that he had been ver worried indeed.

“It’s fine, kid,” he said, running a head through his brother’s hair. “I’m here now, we’ll figure it all out. Just tell me what’s going on, yeah?”

“I’m… I’m engaged. I’ll be married soon, actually.”

“What? But you’re not even fifty!”

Ori chuckled. “I’m _fifty five_ , actually! I’m very nearly a proper adult. I’ll even be a journeyman soon enough, my master says!”

“Hm… and who’s your lucky lover then?”

What little joy Ori had found fled him, and he looked away.

“That’s… that’s the problem, you see. I… Some things happened a few years ago, and I ended up being engaged to… to prince Kili… not that it made either of us too happy at the time, but I… he’s not so bad…”

“How can you just _end up_ engaged to a prince?”

Ori blushed, bit his lip, and sighed. It couldn’t be avoided, of course.

He told Nori everything. How he’d fallen so hard for both princes, because they’d been so nice to him, especially Fili, and how it had all been just a game to them. How Ari had discovered it and had told Dis about it, who had told Thorin, who had decided that one of his nephew would have to marry Ori, and how it had made them all so miserable at the time.

He told him how he'd started falling for Thorin, and Nori's only reaction was to gently squeeze his shoulder with a sympathetic smile. Ori felt encouraged,  and he told all the rest too, his slowly improving relationship with Kili, the news of the wedding, the stupid and awful things he'd said then, and how everything had gone to Mordor after that.

"Kid, when you get in trouble, you don't do it by halves. Now, first thing I need to know: do you still want to run away?"

Ori thought about it for a second.

"It'd be easier, wouldn't it?" he sighed.

"Yup. Doesn't mean it'd be better though. Especially if your boys like you... and I'd say they do."

"Kili doesn't..."

"Kili does. He's the one who looks like a puppy in your drawings, right?"

Ori snorted. "Yeah, that'd be him."

"And when he's posing and looking what I assume to be your way, he looks like the saddest puppy of them all. Boy likes you, kid."

Ori bit his lip. Even if it was true, it didn't really help him. Nori smiled, and squeezed his shoulder again.

"Don't look that way, kid. Love triangle with royalty... eh, even granny never did that good, and they say she was the handsomest gal in Erebor."

"It's not funny," Ori protested, though he smiled back. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life stuck between them!"

"There are worse prospects."

"Nori!"

Ori pressed a hand against his mouth, worried he'd been too loud. Nori too stared a moment at the door, before relaxing when no one came.

"Maybe I should go for now," he decided. "We agree that you're no longer thinking of running away, right? Then I can let the family know that I'm around, and we won't need to hide too much to talk about your little problem. We'll figure it out, kid."

Ori nodded, and hugged his brother again.

He wasn't sure Nori could help at all, but just having someone to talk to, someone who could understand without judging, would be an improvement. 


	13. suspicions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili talks to his brother  
> Kili suspects things

Kili was carefully sharpening his arrows’ heads in the dim light of the fire, a little away from his companions, when Fili came to sit next to him. Pulling out one of his swords, he started cleaning it too, pointedly ignoring his brother.

It took the younger prince less than five minutes to get annoyed by it.

“What do you want, Fee?”

“Nothing. Did I say I wanted something? I’m not saying anything. Why, do you have something to tell me? Because if you do, I’m here for you.”

Kili glared at him.

“I’m fine. If I ever had a problem, you’d be the last person I’d tell, anyway. You always make fun of me when I get in trouble.”

“No I don’t.”

“You laughed at me when I told you that Gilin had put fruit jelly in my hair, _and_ you cut it instead of helping me wash it, excuse me if I don’t trust you.”

“Oh M’al, not _that_ again,” Fili groaned, rolling his eyes. “I apologized. Several times. Beside, I’m good for more serious stuff, aren’t I?”

Kili glared at him. “You mean like how you keep ‘helping’ with Ori? Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I’ve got enough problems there on my own, I don’t need you to get involved.”

“Ah. So it really _is_ because of Ori that you’ve looked like a constipated elf since… before we even left.”

The youngest prince winced, and stared angrily at his arrows. He wondered how long he’d have to stay silent to make his brother understand he didn’t want to talk about this, not to _him_.

“Of course, you realize that I’m the _only one_ you can talk to about Ori, right?” Fili pointed out as if he could read his thoughts. “Unless you’re ready to talk with someone while pretending that he’s your one true love.”

“What if he were though.”

Still looking down at his arrows, Kili could only imagine the look of shock on his brother’s face.

“What do you mean?” Fili whispered. “Kee, I know it’s important to maintain the story in front of people, but you remember it’s just a story, right? No one’s forcing you to like him! You’re _allowed_ to not like him! It’s great that you’re making efforts to be nice to him, and I know it’s making mother happy, but no one can ask more than that from you!”

“See, that’s why I don’t want to talk to you.”

“You used to hate him! Kee, you barely spoke to me for _months_ because you were furious you’d ended up engaged to him by my fault, how can you be talking of liking him?”

Kili blushed, and shrugged.

“He’s… nice.”

“Lots of people are nice. Gilin is nice, when she’s not messing with people’s hair, and I don’t see you wondering if you like her!”

“Not so loud!” Kili hissed, throwing a worried look around. The rest of their company wasn’t paying any attention to them, but Thorin’s attention had been caught by his nephews’ sudden animation, and that could easily mean trouble. “Gilin isn’t nice, she’s a dreadful little pest, worse than Gimris or Gimli, and you know it, whereas Ori is… He’s Ori. Do you really find it so weird that I could like him?”

The older prince shrugged, though he looked confused.

“It’s not that he’s not likeable. He’s pretty enough, for one thing, or I’d never… and he’s not so stupid anymore. I’m just… worried. Do you really like him, or is it just that you think people are expecting it of you?”

Kili laughed darkly. “As if. Even mother thinks I hate him, and that I’d take advantage of him first chance I’d have if she wasn’t here to protect him. He probably thinks it too. It’s pretty stupid of me to… like him. But I… I do, and that’s how it is… Even if I wish I didn’t.”

“There are worse fates than liking your future husband,” Fili said carefully. “And I think he doesn’t hate you either. Less than he hates me anyway. He treats me as if the whole thing was my fault…”

“Which it _is_.”

“That’s not my point here,” Fili claimed with a wave of his hand. “My point is, if you really like him, it’s a good thing. Is that why you’ve looked so blue lately? Do you miss him that much?”

Kili shrugged, fidgeting with the arrow he was holding. Fili had never been of any help whenever Ori was concerned, and he’d never been in love, so he couldn’t know anything about it… but as the blond prince had said, he was the only person Kili could talked to openly about Ori, the only one who knew the truth of their engagement but didn’t treat him like a monstrous pervert.

“Ori is... in love with someone else,” Kili confided.

“Ah.”

“And that person loves him back.”

“Ah. Any chance that he might have been trying to tell you that he loves you?”

“Not really, no,” Kili laughed darkly. “Our engagement stands in the way of his love for that person, who won’t have him because… well, because of _me_.”

“Ah,” Fili said once more, putting his arm around his brother’s shoulders to pull him close. “I’m so sorry for you, Kee.”

The youngest prince just nodded. He felt sorry too, both for himself and for Ori, one with feelings that had appeared too late, and the other trapped with a husband he’d rather have seen dead.

“Any idea who it might be?” Fili asked. “Do you think it could be one of the twins? I know he trains sometimes with Gimris… and Gilin had a bit of a crush on him a while back. I thought she’d grown out of it, but maybe…”

“It’s a man,” Kili sighed. “That’s all I know. It’s a man, and Ori is fairly sure his feelings are returned.”

“So it’s got to be someone he’s close to,” Fili decided. “After what happened with us, I doubt he’d presume of anything without very strong clues. He doesn’t have many close friends though, so our list of suspects is short. It could be Gimli…”

Kili shuddered at the idea, and grimaced. It was one thing to know his fiancé loved another, but the very idea of Ori preferring little Gimli over him, when Gimli was nothing but a baby who shouted too loud all the time…

“Ah, no, it can’t be him,” Fili muttered. “You said Ori was _fairly sure_ that dwarf loved him… and Gimli’s not the sort to just _hint_ at things. He’d just say it plain as day, and to Mordor with the consequences. Hm… maybe some scribe he’s studying with? They’d have things in common.”

“I don’t know… he’s not too close with them, I think. They’re just, you know. People he has to spend time with because they work at the same place… the only one he’s ever spoken of like ze was a friend is someone who got married before we even got engaged, and Ori’s never seen zir since then. Other than that, he doesn’t seem to have any strong feelings for the other students his master has.”

“Yeah, well, sorry to tell you that, but I don’t think he’d tell you how close he is to his lover, would he?”

Kili shrugged.

“Still, it’s true your boyfriend is damn cold most of the time,” Fili grumbled. “Remember how long it took us to have him open up a little? Thorin’s probably the only person with whom I’ve ever seen him be friendly from the first moment… Hey, maybe that it!” he exclaimed cheerfully, as if he’d thought of the joke of the century. “Maybe Thorin’s the mysterious lover we’re looking for! Wouldn’t it be cute, two icicles finding warmth in each other, melting when they’re together?”

Fili burst out laughing, and for a few seconds, Kili tried to join him. The idea really was ridiculous after all, because…

Kili’s laughter died in his throat.

 _Why_ was it ridiculous, actually?

Ori was always so much more relaxed around Thorin, always smiling at him with Thorin smiling back… And they shared so many jokes that Kili didn’t understand, that _no one else_ seemed to understand…And they’d danced together at Ori’s birthday… and Ori always seemed so happy to follow Thorin when he went to visit noble dwarves and mine owners, even though Kili knew it was the most boring thing ever…

“Hey, Kee, what’s the matter?” Fili asked. “Come on, don’t look so grim, it was a joke. Not my best, I know…”

No, it wasn’t funny, his brother thought. Not when Thorin also seemed happy to have Ori around, not when Thorin was always looking at the scribe when they were in the same room, always had a hand on his shoulder if they were close enough…

Kili had always thought his uncle was only trying to keep his promise of taking care of Ori, but he wasn’t so sure anymore.

And if it had been just that… but there had been Ori’s anger after learning their wedding day had been decided, the way he’d cried, when he usually never cried in front of Kili… and hadn’t Thorin looked particularly grim that night? Not to mention Ori and Thorin hadn’t been around each other at all since that day… Kili had believed that his fiancé was avoiding him, but maybe it hadn’t been about him at all.

“Crap, uncle’s coming that way!” Fili hissed. “If he asks, we’re talking about… about Dwalin’s baldness, okay?”

“What?” Kili whispered, snapping out of his thoughts. “Are you crazy? That’ll just make him angrier than…”

“What are you boys laughing about?” Thorin asked, glowering at them.

“Nothing,” they answered together, a little too quickly.

Thorin’s frown deepened, and Kili found himself inspecting his uncle’s face closely for a trace of… he didn’t know how what, really. Of guilt, maybe, as if it’d be written on Thorin’s face, if he was the one Ori really wanted to be with…

For a brief instant, their eyes met, but Thorin quickly looked away at Fili.

“Do not laugh so loud,” he scolded him. “We are coming to more dangerous parts, and too much noise might attract unwanted attention.”

“Sorry, uncle. We… I will be careful now.”

“I should hope so. What was so amusing that your forgot yourself?”

Fili opened his mouth to answer, but his brother was quicker.

“I was sharing with him a joke Ori had told me. As you know very well, _my fiancé_ has a very funny sense of humour.”

Kili heard the catch in his brother’s breath, and he could once again imagine the shock on his face, but all his attention was on Thorin. If all was well…

If all was well, Thorin would just be confused by that statement, or just agree and maybe, if he was a good mood, he would share such a joke, the way he did when they talked of Dwalin or Oin’s jokes. It was what Kili was hoping for.

Instead, his uncle paled, looking as if the mere mention of Ori was painful to him.

“Do not… distract your brother that way,” the king replied hesitantly. “Or if the jokes are so funny, share them with everyone, at least.”

“I think I’d rather keep them to myself,” Kili snarled in a sudden fit of anger. “There’s some things I don’t want to share, not with anyone.”

Thorin _should_ have asked him to explain himself, the prince thought. He should have told him to stop being ridiculous, to not talk in riddles. He should have pointed out that the points of jokes was to be shared.

Thorin should have done _anything_ , instead of just looking away and going back to where he was sitting with Dwalin.

“What was that about?” Fili whispered to him when they were alone again. “Kee, it was just a joke when I said… you can’t seriously be thinking that Thorin’s feeling anything for Ori? He’s… he’s _Thorin_! He only loves us because he’s kin and the Maker says you’ve _got_ to love your family, and I’ve never heard him talk of marriage for anyone in the family without immediately speaking of interests and public opinion and… Kee, he probably doesn’t even know what romance _means_!”

There was a hint of panic in the oldest prince’s voice, as if the very idea of their uncle being in love would threaten everything he knew of the world… and it did, in a way, Kili realized. It was something they had always known to be true. They had always known that their uncle didn’t feel things the way most dwarves did. It had been a constant in their lives, something they could easily joke about, sometimes even in front of Thorin himself, because it was so _true_ he could never had scolded him for it.

And now that one certainty was turning out to not be so certain at all.

“Come on Kee, stop thinking about it,” Fili nearly begged. “I… I don’t think there’s anyone at all, you know. I think… I think Ori was just trying to make you jealous when he said that. I’m fairly sure he does like you, but after all that has happened, he doesn’t know how to figure out what you feel for him, so… jealousy is the oldest trick of them all.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, of course!” the oldest prince claimed with a crooked smile. “Look, it’s obvious to everyone that there’s a… a thing happening between you lately. I mean, mother wouldn’t have insisted to set a date for the wedding if she hadn’t thought the time has come, right? She wants you to be happy, and Ori too, so she wouldn’t do anything that might hurt either of you. M’al, I’ve seen that he’s more relaxed around you these days, and I don’t pay that much attention to him! So he was just… trying to make you jealous, is all.

“That’s not… I’m not sure that’s the sort of things he’d do. He’s not… like that.”

“Everyone’s like that. All’s fair in love and war, as they say. Come on, forget about it. Just, when we get to the next town, write to him, tell him you miss him… send him a small present maybe. Show him that you think of him, you know? And then when we come back, he’ll know you like him, and he’ll never again say anything about a lover, you’ll see.”

Fili’s smile as he spoke felt forced, as if he were afraid his brother would do something stupid… and Kili rather felt like doing just that, if he had to be honest.

But at the same time, there was something comforting about Fili’s story, even if it really didn’t sound like something Ori would ever do…

Kili decided that for this time, making himself believe a lie might be better than thinking of the truth, though. It’d be nice to pretend Ori truly liked him, and was worried whether Kili liked him back…

“What sort of present should I send him then?” he asked.

Fili’s smile grew, and he started suggesting all sorts of mad ideas. Soon enough the rest of the company asked what they were talking about, and before long, Kili found himself submerged with ideas of what gifts one could give a lover, and what his letter should contain.

And if Thorin didn’t offer a single idea, well, it was easy for the prince to convince himself it was only because his uncle didn’t understand what it was like to be in love.


	14. black lace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The things Thorin wants and the things he knows he should want aren't quite the same.

Thorin kept finding perfectly good reasons as to why Kili shouldn’t write to Ori. It was dangerous to all of them. It was exposing their position to anyone who might want to attack them (and they _did_ have enemies). It was a waste of money, when they would be back only in a few weeks. It was a distraction to everyone, when their entire company had taken to teasing the boy about it. It made everyone too friendly with Kili, when they should have treated him with the respect due to a prince of Erebor.

They were decent, acceptable reasons.

They weren’t true, not a single one of them.

The only truth was that Thorin wished _he_ could have written to the boy.

He’d found reasons for that too.

Ori was a friend, as everyone knew, and that alone was a decent excuse. He had advice to give to them boy. He wanted Ori to keep an eye on a few noble dwarves for him. He was thinking of writing to Dis anyway, and what was another letter? Durin’s day was coming and they wouldn’t be home for it, no one could find it strange if he sent good wishes to a few people, among whom his nephew’s future husband. He had to give some ideas he’d had for the preparation of the wedding.

That last one was the worst lies of them all. He was actively _not_ thinking of that wedding. The idea of the boys together made his stomach twist, and the many jokes Dis had thrown at him since the announcement, about how Ori would certainly be less reserved toward Kili after his wedding night…

“You’ve spent five years telling that boy he could refuse any attentions from Kili,” Thorin had told her one night. “Do you really think now that he will jump in his arms so easily, when you have all done your best to convince him he should be afraid of his future husband?”

“Hm… but that was before, when he was too young to know better, and when Kili couldn’t speak two words without trying to insult him. He’s really trying to court the boy now, and Ori seems to be allowing it… I’m no longer worried. Of course, if there is any trouble, I will still protect the child, but I do not think it will be needed. They are starting to figure it out.”

“So you think there is… affection between them.”

“Oh course. Don’t you?”

Thorin had believed so, once. He wasn’t sure anymore. The things Ori had said to him…

That might have only been the words of a child terrified of a marriage he still felt unsure of, but… no. It would have been unfair to Ori to think of him as a scared child. He was smarter than dwarves twice his age, capable of understanding easily complex situations…

Ori who claimed to love him, and Thorin didn’t know how to feel about that.

A part of him, the part that was king of Erebor, and heir to the line of Durin, hoped that the boy was mistaken, that his feelings were just a passing fancy in reaction to an engagement that had happened under less than ideal conditions. As a king, Thorin hoped that Ori would come to his senses, never again think of loving anyone but Kili, and be a good husband for the young prince.

As an uncle, he knew that his youngest nephew regretted sincerely his past mistakes, and had deep affections for Ori… that he maybe even loved him, and that it would be a terrible blow for him if his fiancé were to be taken from him, and by his own uncle, too.

As a dwarf, Thorin wanted to jump on his pony, ride back to Ered Luin and kiss that boy, tell him that he loved him to, and find a way to be with him.

He had tried to find ideas to make that happen. He had imagined scenarios where he would have Ori as his lover, or even marry him, without hurting Kili, without damaging all their reputations...

He never found anything that might work.

He tried to tell himself it was for the best.

Some days, he almost managed to convince himself of it.

 

Kili’s habit of sending letters every time that they reached a vaguely civilised town soon started spreading to the rest of their company, especially once the prince started talking of sending home a small present for Durin’s Day.

Thorin would have objected to the idea, but in one town they met another group of travelling dwarves who offered to take their messages for them. Bifur and his cousins were going back to Ered Luin, precisely because they wanted to celebrate the new year with their families… and Bifur was as honest a dwarf as there ever was, everyone knew it. A little queer, with his axe in the head and his speeches problems, but honest as a diamond, and soon everyone was trying to buy something to send home. Some were clever, and bought toys or trinkets for Bifur and his cousins’ shop. Other got a nice scarf or some fabric, the town specialising in making cloth that wasn’t easily found in Ered Luin. Thorin followed that second trend when it came to Dis, hoping she would enjoy the chance of making herself new trousers.

He had decided he wouldn’t buy anything for Ori.

It wasn’t his place after. After their last conversation, the boy might have taken it the wrong way (it would have been the right way, actually, but the right way was _wrong_ ) and with all the efforts Kili was making, Thorin simply couldn’t put himself between them. It would have been wrong of him, and cruel toward his nephew.

So if he found himself looking at a long stip of delicate black lace inside the shop, Thorin did not think about how much Ori would have enjoyed the precision of the pattern, the quality of the execution… he also didn’t consider how easily it would have improved the boy’s best tunic, that purple one that made him look so fetching.

Or if he did think about it, at least he was clever enough to never really consider buying it.

Not seriously at least.

“Oh, that’s pretty,” Kili said next to him, startling him. “I didn’t know they made lace in black.”

“It is nice enough, I suppose,” Thorin admitted. “I did not know you had an interest in clothes.”

His nephew shrugged, and didn’t look at him. It wasn’t a surprise. Kili had often avoided his eyes lately, and some days, Thorin wondered… except there was no way he could know, of course. Thorin had made many mistakes in this whole business, but he was quite sure that he had never let anything show of the tenderness he had for Ori.

“I don’t care much for pretty clothes,” Kili said. “I just want mine to keep me warm, and not bother me when I fight. But Ori… he knows a lot about these things. His mother’s family used to be seamstresses, most of them… Dori makes most of their clothes even now, but apparently he can’t make a living out of it, not really.”

Thorin nodded. Dori was very talented, he could have worked for kings… if their home in Ered Luin had been a real kingdom, and not just a bunch of penniless dwarves thrown together.

“If you are still looking for a present for Ori, maybe you should consider getting him lace then,” Thorin suggested. “I am sure he would appreciate something that shows you appreciate his family’s tradition.”

Kili flinched.

“I do not need your advice for presents, uncle,” he retorted coldly. “I have already found something for my fiancé, if you must know. But you’re right, he would certainly enjoy this a great deal… maybe _you_ should buy it for him. After all, the two of you are friends, close ones too. Shouldn’t you think of him for Durin’s Day?”

There was something in the prince’s voice that Thorin wasn’t sure he liked, something that was far too close to a challenge… but before he could call him out on it, Kili smiled, claimed that he had to meet with Fili to choose a present for Dis, and he left.

Thorin watched him go, wondering once again what his nephew knew or suspected. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

He sighed, and looked again at the strip of delicate black lace.

It was beautiful, and Ori would have loved it.

But Thorin couldn’t buy it for him, he just couldn’t.


	15. Durin's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori is the best brother in the world  
> And there is a party for Durin's Day

It was so nice, having Nori around. He hadn’t been there very often, always travelling far away to escape trouble, and so Ori had forgotten… but Nori was a great brother. The _best_ brother.

Not that Dori wasn’t great to have around, because he was, but from what Ori knew of normal families, Dori behaved more like a father would have, always busy with work and trying to help their mother make both ends meet… and the age difference made things a little difficult between them.

But Nori.

Nori was _terrible_ , and it was _great_. He was older than Ori, yes, but it just meant he knew more dreadful jokes and ridiculous stories than his little brother, and he was still young enough to laugh easily and be entirely _irresponsible_ , dragging Ori, Gimli and the twins into all sorts of incredible trouble… which Gimli and his sisters did anyway, really, only now that they had Nori to help them, they didn’t get caught so often, and it was a lot more fun.

Not that Nori couldn’t be serious when he had to. It was easy to have deep conversations with him, much easier than with any actual adult. Nori didn’t just pretend to listen, to then repeat the same old things about what was proper and what was done and how they were lucky to even have what they had, because things had been so bad after the dragon, and everything was so nice and perfect nowadays, so how dare they complain about anything. Nori actually paid attention, and he gave them good advice.

When Gilin started wondering if she really was a girl, because it didn’t feel quite right, he told her to just try being a boy or neither, and then see if she could figure out which one she liked best. It annoyed Gloin to have to check his child’s braids every morning to know how to address Gilin for the day, but it still worked well enough.

When Gimris developed a crush on one of Ori’s fellow apprentices, but worried because the girl was a Broadbeam and a commoner, and because she was, to use her words “so tiny and delicate and sweet and everyone says I’m a big brute who breaks things just by looking at them”, Nori told her to go for it anyway. As he said, life was short, love was precious, and Gimris wasn’t nearly as brutish as she seemed to believe, since she could sew writer better than Gilin, and even Ori said she had a neat handwriting.

When Gimli worried because he didn’t want to become a banker, no matter how much it would please his father, Nori told him to just find himself a master in whatever trade he preferred, and tell his father afterward. Gimli wasn’t to sure, but Nori assured him it was clear to all that Gloin was too crazy about his children to really force them into something they didn’t want, especially not if they were bold enough to do what they wanted anyway.

When Ori kept worrying about the situation with Kili and Thorin, Nori told him again to just have them both.

“It’s done, you know. Well, not so much in these parts, and not usually with such tight family links involved… but the laws allowed it in Erebor, and I know a few people who openly had a spouse and an official lover. Hell, I know some who do _now_. Got a friend, Bombur… handsome lad. He’s got a wife, and they’ve got a Thein.”

“A what?”

“That’s the name of their lover.”

“Oh.”

“Bom is Broadbeam, but the other two are Longbeards. As far as I can tell, no one really gives a damn what goes on in their bedroom, people just think they’re stupidly sweet… well, _I_ think they are. No one who has been married for that long should still be that in love.”

Ori snorted. “You’re really stupid sometimes.”

“I’m the only sane man in a world of idiots,” Nori sighed tragically. “I had once hoped you’d be sane with me, but no. So now it falls to me to help you in your madness… And to think I always believed if someone in this family had to get fucked by kings and princes it’d be _me…_ ”

Ori sniggered uncomfortably. He tried very hard to not think about the more physical aspect of what he felt for Kili and Thorin. With the first, he just wasn’t sure at all what he wanted, supposing he wanted anything… of course, Kili was handsome in his own way, and Ori had more than once been fascinated by the skill of his hands, or the way his shirt clung to his body after a hard training session, and he had... _reacted_ to it. And he had imagined things. More than once. But he wasn’t sure if it showed his affections for Kili, or just the fact that the prince was an attractive fellow, even with his unusual face.

Concerning Thorin, Ori had no doubts at all: he wanted anything and everything he could have with the older dwarf… but he wasn’t sure there was much that Thorin would want. Everyone knew that the king had never taken lovers, never even had any interest in anyone… and somehow, Ori didn’t mind. He wanted anything Thorin could give him, and if he could never offer him more than a few kiss, a words of love, or even just the quiet knowledge that this love existed, then Ori was sure he would be perfectly happy.

“The first step will be to talk about it with them, kid,” Nori announced. “No way around it. Your little king knows everything, but your husband needs to be told. He won’t like it at first… but if you play it well, he can understand and accept. I’ve talked to the three terrors, they say he isn’t as dumb as he looks.”

Ori forced himself to smile. The three terrors were Gimli, Gimris and Gilin. They were terribly proud of the nickname Nori had found them.

“What do I do if he’s… not fine with things though?” the scribe worried. “What if… what if he becomes mean again, like he used to be? I… I don’t want to risk that.”

“If he does that, I’ll break his face.”

“Nori!”

“Fine, fine… I’ll scare him until he agrees?”

“No, you won’t,” Ori warned his brother. “I… I don’t want you to ever do that! I… With all that’s happened between us, and with the way it all started, I… I don’t want him to ever again force himself for my sake.”

Their first kisses, at their engagement party, had hurt too much. Kili had been far too good at faking things then, and Ori hadn’t liked it. Whatever happened now, he would need to know that the prince wasn’t lying.

“I don’t think the kid is the one you should worry most about,” Nori pointed out. “I remember when I was young and reckless…”

“As opposed to now, when you are old and wise?”

Nori glared at his brother. Ori answered by a wide smile.

“When I was young and more reckless than now,” Nori resumed, “I would have accepted pretty much any third party in a lover’s bed as long as it meant I could get in that bed too… and your prince seems just as stupid as I am. But if the old one could resist you when you were desperate and talking about being in love, then he’s going to make things difficult. He’s the one you’ll have to convince… and it’s not gonna be easy.”

“Any suggestions for that?”

“Yeah. Get into his room one night, get naked, shag him silly, and use the time where he’s brainless to explain it all to him. Even if it doesn’t work… well, you’ll have shagged him once.”

Ori snorted, and punched his brother’s arm. Nori made a great show of being hurt, whining about losing his arm, until his brother was forced to tickle him to shut him up. Nori retaliated by letting himself fall on his brother to trap him on the ground. They ended up fighting and laughing, and then the royal family was forgotten for a moment.

 

Soon, the weather started growing colder, and they all started preparing for Durin’s Day. With what little savings he had, Ori bought small presents for his family, and he decided to make things for Kili and Thorin.

Concerning the prince, it was expected of him to have a gift for his future husband, but Ori would have done something anyway. He had to apologize for the awful things he’d said to Kili after all, and a nice, well thought out gift would help him show just how sincerely sorry he was for having spoken that way. So he had picked his best sketch of the prince (he did have a shameful amount of these, as Nori liked to tease) and he had carefully inked it, colouring the final drawing with the very inks that Kili had gifted him for his birthday. Everyone told him it looked very nice, and Dis, who had seen him working on it, told him it was his best work, and that Kili would love it, but Ori still wasn’t sure.

It was a little more difficult to find a justification to give Thorin a present. If anything, Ori knew he should rather have made something for his future mother-in-law, or for Fili… but as he told his mother, the king had never been anything but a great friend to him all along, he had helped him through the darkest moments of that unwanted betrothal, and now that Ori was tolerably good at what he did, he had to show his thanks somehow.

“Well, just draw something for him then!” Ari laughed when he had finished his long explanation. “I’m sure he’ll be very happy to be given something. The old boy rather likes you, I think. And everyone knows the two of you are great friends, aren’t you?”

“So you don’t think there’s anything improper?”

She laughed again.

“Ori, darling. If you worry too much about what’s proper, you’ll end up never doing anything with your life. Let Thorin and Dis worry about what is proper… and you, just do what you feel is right. It has worked fairly well for all of us so far, wouldn’t you say?”

“Last time I did what I thought was right, I let the princes seduce me,” Ori protested.

“And now you’re engaged to one of them, who seems to like you well enough these days. So as I’ve said, just follow your heart, and if things ever go wrong, you know you can count on us, darling. Beside, why do you worry so much? You’re giving him a present for Durin’s Day, not trying to bed him! You should stop being so anxious, or you will end up like Dori.”

Coming from the kitchen, Dori’s voice proclaimed that he had _heard_ that, and that someone in that family _had_ to worry about things sometimes, or else they would all end up like _Nori_. Nori, who was working on his own presents in the main room, replied that he had heard that too, and that he’d be very happy if more people were like him, because they world would be a funnier place then.

Ari rolled her eyes, and put her hands on Ori’s shoulders, suddenly looking very serious.

“You are my one chance at having a child who isn’t entirely mad,” she whispered. “Please, do not turn out like your brothers.”

“We _heard_ that!” the other two instantly protested, and Ori burst out laughing.

 

They celebrated Durin’s Day with the lady Dis, Gloin, and his family. It was the first year they were doing it all together, usually Ari preferred to keep her sons home, or she went to some close friends’ house, because she liked it better that way (“nobles don’t know how to party”). But with the upcoming wedding, she couldn’t have avoided it that year.

It wasn’t quite so bad, in the end. The food was very nice (nicer than anything Dori usually cooked for them, not that it was difficult) and Ori had a great deal of fun with Gimli and his siblings. Gilin and Gimris weren’t supposed to be allowed anything stronger than light beer, but Gimli and Ori managed to get them some mead, with fairly interesting results. Gilin, it turned out, had a great singing voice, but terrible tastes in songs, choosing only saucy songs. When the grown ups caught up with it, they were less than pleased, but Nori managed to distract everyone by offering a toast to Ori and Kili’s future wedding, and the incident was soon forgotten.

When at last everyone was done eating, they all got up, and gathered around the chimney to thank Mahal for the gifts of the past year, and pray that the new one be better yet. Ori felt a little selfish and silly that, rather than to ask for good things for all the exiles and the end of his apprenticeship, he asked their Maker to let him have Kili and Thorin and be happy with them… but at the same time, His help would be needed.

After the prayers, gifts were exchanged. Ori was delighted to get paper and some beautiful new nibs. He was rather happy to see that his mother and brothers liked the small beads he got them for their hair and beards, because he had spent a long time picking the right ones.

But the best, of course, was when Dis announced that the travellers had sent presents home, and that some of these were for Ori. When she gave him a small parcel, along with a couple letters, the young scribe was speechless.

“The letters started arriving a while ago,” Dis explained, “but I was so busy at the time, and I forgot… then there was a second one, and the third one, and… well, after a while, I thought that it would be a nice surprise for today.”

Ori nodded mutely. He hesitated to open the first one, before deciding that whether Kili hated him for his harsh words or wanted to offer peace, he’d rather be alone to read them. So he took the parcel instead, and opened it careful. There was a beautiful silver brooch inside, a small feather that almost looked real, and Ori immediately asked Dori to fasten it to his tunic.

Suddenly, he wondered if his own gift to Kili would really be enough, compared to that, if he shouldn’t try to get something better… but then, before he could worry too much, Dis handed him another parcel.

“From Thorin,” she said with a smile.

Ori felt himself blush so hard, it was a surprise that he didn’t catch fire. Thorin had bought him a present. Thorin who had said they couldn’t ever be more than friends, Thorin who had avoided him for days before his departure. Thorin had sent him something.

And it wasn’t just anything, the young dwarf discovered, opening the parcel. It was a long band of delicate black lace, so beautiful it almost made him cry.

“Well, you’re lucky,” Dis laughed as they all admired Thorin’s present. “My brother always gets me practical presents… last year, he offered me a new hammer for the forge.”

That sent everyone laughing, and Ori was relieved when the princess started telling the tale of the disastrous and occasionally offending presents her brother had given her over the years. As soon as he was sure no one paid any attention to him, he slipped away to Thorin’s office, the only place where he could hope to get any quiet. He made himself comfortable there, and sitting on the king’s great chair, he started reading Kili’s letters.

 

“Dear Ori,” the first one said.

“I am sorry that you think I hate you. I swear it’s not true. This is actually what I wanted to tell you that day: I like you a great deal. I was even quite happy that I would get to marry you, but after what you’ve said, I’m not so happy. I’m very sorry that I stand between you and your lover. Are you quite sure that you are in love with him?

“If you are, maybe we can find an arrangement, if he is someone serious who can be trusted. It doesn’t make me happy to think of you with another dwarf. But it’s better than keeping you to myself and making you miserable. Also, if I let you be with him, will you hate me a little less? I would like it if you liked me, but I’ll understand if you continue hating me.

“Kili”

 

“Dear Ori,” the second one started.

“We are in a very boring town. Uncle is trying to make business with the men, but they don’t trust us. They say we are too small to make good smiths. It’s so stupid… Uncle was very cross. But he is cross a lot anyway. I mean, he’s always cross, but now on the trip, it’s worse than before. I think he misses you. I miss you too. But he’s your friend, and I know I’m not, so I guess it matters more to you if he misses you than if I do.

“I don’t have time for a very long letter, sorry. We’ve decided to not stay long in this stupid town.

“Kili.”

 

“Dear Ori,

“Fili says maybe the letters might get lost, so I should repeat a bit of the important things I said in my first letter in this one, just in case. I didn’t say much, but it was important. I said that I like you, which is really true. I also said that if you really are so in love, maybe you can find a way to still be with your lover. I won’t make any demands in exchange. I know that you hate me, and I’d never force you to have me. We can be husbands only in name if you want, I will live with it.

I just hope that your lover is a good dwarf. I mean, last time you fell in love, it was for the wrong people who really didn’t deserve you, so I hope you won’t get hurt like that again.

“I hope things are fine at home,

“Kili.”

 

“Dear Ori,

“I am a little tipsy, because I went for a drink with Fili, and the Men thought it’d be fun to challenge us to a drinking game. Short story: it wasn’t a good idea, not for them.

“You know, I think I really like you a terrible lot. A really really terrible lot. I miss you lots. I keep thinking how much you would like it, travelling with us. You could draw things and write things, and it would be fun, and you would be here and I would like it if you were here. Because I miss you lots.

“I wish you would like me a little. I like you so much, I really wish you would like me too. I know I haven’t been so great with you, but that was ages ago. I am a much better dwarf now. I will be a good husband to you, I am a good smith and I will earn money to take good care of you. Also, I cook better than Fili. But I can’t drink as much as him, and I don’t like it so much anyway, so you see, I’ll be a good and serious husband who won’t spend our money in alcohol. Also, I am a prince. I don’t have a kingdom, and I’ll never be king, but lots of people want to marry a prince, or so I’m told. Also, I think you’re very clever and very good at writing and drawing, and also you are very pretty. I didn’t care much that you were pretty at first, because I don’t really go for pretty dwarves, that’s not my type, but I like that you’re pretty because that’s you.

“So, you see, I would make a good and loving husband, so please, give me a chance? I will still let you be with your lover if you want, but if you could consider me, it would make me so happy. But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I don’t want to force you, ever, so if you don’t want, just tell me and I’ll leave you alone. But please, think about it?

“Also, I hope you will let me meet your lover. I want to make sure they are nice and will treat you nice. I have tried to guess who it can be, but I’m not good at guessing. My best guess right now is Thorin. He always makes that face when I speak about you, the not good hurt bad face. But maybe it’s just because he doesn’t have many friends and he misses you.

I’m not sure I really want to think about that. If it’s Thorin you love, then you’ll never like me at all, because he’s better at everything than everyone, so I don’t have a chance.

“I’m going to go give this to that traveller who is headed toward Ered Luin, and then I’ll go to bed. My head is spinning a little. Maybe I had too much to drink? But I don’t care, Fili and me won some money, and it was fun.

“Kili.”

 

“Dear Ori,” the last letter said.

“I found this brooch, and I thought you might like it. Happy Durin’s Day!

“I don’t have much else to say. We should start going back home soon now, just a few more towns. I know you were furious last time we talked, but I hope some of your anger will be gone by the time I am back. I would not dare to ask you to act as my husband in private, but no matter what, we will have to play the part in public… so I can only hope that we might at least be friends, if nothing else? I am fully ready to do all that I can to prove to you that I’m not as bad as I used to be. As I said in my other letters (I hope you got them) I like you a lot. It really pains me that I never managed to show it to you. But that’s not really a surprise, I guess I’m just as bad as uncle for these things. Anyway, I hope you will give me a chance.

“So have a nice party (or if the letter is late, I hope you had a nice party), and a happy new year to you!

“Kili.”

 

Ori devoured the letters, blushing and biting his lips all along. He also grinned once or twice, but most of the time he just felt more guilty than ever of the way he had treated Kili when they had last spoken… but at the same time, the letters gave him hope. It was nice to know, really know, that the prince felt some sort of affection for him…

And it was just as nice to know that Kili was ready to share him with another lover.

Ori sighed, and clutched the letters against his hearts.

It was going to be an interesting year.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am feeling a little blocked on this story, and I just don't know where I'm going with it, ahah...  
> I had great plans for great drama, but now I'm considering just trying to finish it quickly instead of torturing the boys... so, we'll see.


	16. home again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> right before getting home, Thorin's company is attacked by orcs

The travel home had gone well enough, until they were attacked.

It was just a small pack of orcs, not enough to really be a problem for their company… but it was still the first time Kili got into an actual fight, and it was terrifying. He had been trained since he was old enough to hold a sword, but nothing had prepared him to the _reality_ of orcs and wargs, the smells and the sounds, the _sight…_

Kili was terrified, and he felt like he had forgotten everything he had ever learned. His first impulse was to run away and hide.

He didn’t though, because it would have been to betray his brother and his uncle, as well as all the dwarves of their company. So instead he took the short sword he carried, and fought as hard as he could, begging Mahal and Yavanna to let him live. He couldn’t die so young, he couldn’t die so stupidly, he couldn’t die before having figured out if he loved Ori, he couldn’t die before he’d ever earned the right to a tattoo or a piercing like a proper warrior.

He couldn’t die like that.

He didn’t die like that.

He had been prepared for situations like this after all, and he was a good fighter. He almost felt sick when he killed his first orc, but there were still too many left to stop fighting.

But then he saw one orc sneak behind Thorin, so he called out his uncle’s name to warn him, and for one second he didn’t pay attention to what was around him.

One second was enough for another orc to hit him, and the yell Kili let out was due as much to surprise as to the sharp pain in his arm that made him drop his sword. It was lucky that another dwarf of their company came to his rescue, because he wasn’t sure he could have managed on his own, not with the way his arm _hurt_.

“Broken arm,” their healer Oin announced when the fight was over. “He’s going to need a splint… I can’t make a good one here, but I should still manage something… he’s lucky we’re only a few days from home.”

Kili didn’t feel particularly lucky at all, truth be told, not with the way it hurt to just think about his arm. The only way to bear it was to not move his right arm at all, which was easier said than done. There was some discussion about how he should manage the rest of the trip. He couldn’t ride his pony, not like that, but making him walk was out of the question, and they didn’t have a cart in which to make him sit. In the end, Fili took his brother with him on his pony, and it was decided that everyone would take turn to ride with the prince.

Kili felt humiliated, getting hurt like that on his first serious fight, and this, combined with the pain, made him a rather poor companion. It didn't help when the others, seeing his dark mood, tried to cheer him up by telling him that soon, he would be home, "with that pretty little fiancé of yours to take care of you".

He didn't want to think about Ori, not yet. His fiancé would be so unimpressed to see how stupidly he’d been hurt. Beside,for all that he had professed in his letters that he was willing to let the scribe be with his lover, whoever that was, the thought still made him uncomfortable. He would do it if he had to, but a part of him hoped that Ori would instead be content with just being his husband. He didn't think that it would happen, but he was still allowed to hope, wasn't he?

The rest of the trip passed too slowly and too fast all at once. As they passed the town's gates, everyone was talking about the snow they would have that year, and whether their families had received the presents they had sent. They were all so cheerful that it was painful to watch, and Kili did his best to pretend he didn't hear them. When he suddenly realised that he didn't even know what he would say to Ori when he'd see him again, the young prince gave up all pretence and just pulled a face the whole way to their house.

He still did smile a little when Dis opened the door, because he had missed her a lot. She smiled back, until she saw his arm.

"What happened to you?" She cried, but she was glaring at her brother.

"We met some orcs, not far from here," Thorin explained. "But he should be fine... we had Oin with us, he is a good healer, his arm should be fine. And the boys fought well, both of them, you can be proud of..."

"Proud? I am not feeling proud, brother. I feel murderous! You said you would protect them!"

"I did. They are alive, aren't they? And Oin went to fetch his material to properly set the arm back, he'll be here any minute now, so..."

"Inside," Dis snarled. "Now. You are going to tell me exactly what happened."

They followed her in the house, and Kili thought that his uncle rather looked like a naughty dwarfling waiting to be yelled at for a bad prank. He felt almost sorry for Thorin. The king had done nothing wrong after all, and he had been in a rather sorry mood for the entirety of their trip. Kili still had suspicions about that, and lately, it mostly made him pity his uncle.

"Thorin did nothing wrong," the young prince quickly explained. "It's my fault, I was distracted, and..."

"Quiet you," Dis snapped, "I will get angry at you when your arm is taken care of. For now, I am talking to your uncle, and demanding to know why he let his youngest nephew get hurt. Do you think our family so large that you can afford to lose yet more of our kin in battle?"

The young princes gasped at what they both felt was a cruel attack, while Thorin paled, and clenched his fists.

"Your son isn't dead," he replied between clenched teeth. "I would die myself rather than to let the boys fall."

"You said the same of Frerin, and where is he now? I trusted you, Thorin! You said my sons would be safe!"

At the name of Frerin, Kili saw Thorin jump as if the blow had been physical. It wasn't often that the name of his dead uncle was pronounced in their house, least of all by Dis, and it was never done innocently. The princess had forgiven the death of her husband, but never that of her favourite brother.

Preparing for a fight, Kili moved closer to his brother who quickly took his hand and held it tight.

Dis and Thorin didn't fight often, but they _always_ did when Frerin was mentioned, and it always was _terrible_. 

Much to the princes' relief, the door opened then. They expected to see Oin. Instead, it was Ori who ran in, out of breath and looking around with wild eyes, until he saw Kili. The scribe let out a pained noise then, and jumped at the prince's neck to hold him tight

"I thought... Oin said... you hurt... I ran all the way..."

Kili winced, hurt by the way his arm was trapped between them, but he didn't dare protest. Not when Ori was taking him in his arms, and panting against his neck.

Fili, on the other hand, seemed to believe that his brother's arm was more important than hugging and the visible proof that the scribe did care, at least a little.

"His arm his broken," he informed Ori, and the younger dwarf immediately detached himself from Kili, looking utterly panicked. 

"Did I hurt you? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry that I hurt you, II didn't want to..."

"There, there," Dis cooed, pulling an arm around Ori's shoulders. "You didn't do anything, don't worry..."

"I'm still sorry," Ori whispered, looking straight into Kili's eyes, and the prince wondered for what exactly his fiancé was apologising. "I really shouldn't have... I didn't mean it, I swear!"

The prince swallowed heavily, and for the first time since the battle, he didn’t even feel his arm at all. It was as if a weight had lifted from his shoulders. He could feel the others’ curious eyes on them, and he easily imagined that they must have been confused by Ori’s strange little speech, since none of them had the entire story… but Kili didn’t care. All that matter, at that moment, was that Ori didn’t hate him.

“It’s fine,” the prince rasped, letting go of his brother’s hand to take Ori’s. “It’s… all fine, really, don’t worry.”

Ori’s hand was warm in his, and the young scribe gave him a crooked smile that Kili almost wanted to kiss. He didn’t though, because they had a lot to discuss before he could consider doing that… and they couldn’t discuss it _now_ , because Oin had finally arrived to take care of the prince’s arm.

It wasn’t a very nice process, all things considered. But Ori stayed with him the whole time, and Kili found that a comfort.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BLARGH  
> I am very officially blocked on this story and I know the end is getting near but I can't quite figure out how to do that


	17. A real date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and Kili go on a date, and end up having a conversation

“I can’t tie my tunic,” Kili was whining when Ori arrived, and it made the scribe chuckle.

The young prince had taken a few days to realize the full potential of his broken arms, but he had caught up at last, and he was now using it to his advantage. Mostly, he forced his brother to do all his chores, and to help him with everything. His brother, or Gimli and the twins if they were around, because these three were in absolute awe of him and his great battle wound.

He never asked Ori to help him though, as if he were worried that it might be more than he was allowed. Not that Ori didn’t help anyway, because he rather enjoyed the look of surprise on Kili’s face every time he did so, and because he felt that sick twist in his stomach every time he saw the prince’s arm.

Which was why he was there that day, really. As a way of apology for the horrible things he’d said before the trip, he had invited Kili to come eat with him at a tavern Nori had showed him (a _nice_ tavern, meaning it was one where Nori would never have gone if he’d been alone). And it had been Nori’s idea to do that, really, because while Ori had known that he had to do something, he hadn’t had the faintest idea of what he could do. Most of the things Kili enjoyed doing would have required the use of both his arms… But a meal together was safe, and as Nori had pointed out, dates were normally a thing couple did _long_ before they started planning their wedding.

Ori tried hard to not feel too flustered by the idea that this was a date.

So far, he wasn’t very successful at that.

Seeing Kili in a nice blue tunic didn’t help, because it was a colour that suited him well, and Ori found himself blushing. Then the prince saw him and _smiled_ at him, and the scribe suddenly felt far too warm, with something twisting again in his belly, but in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. It was a little like how he felt sometimes with Thorin, when the king smiled at him or told him a joke that only the two of them knew to be funny… It was the same, and yet not the same, because while Kili’s smile made him a little warm, it didn’t give make him feel that nothing could ever again be sad or wrong, the way Thorin’s did.

“I’m almost ready!” Kili announced with a grin. “As soon as my little helper remembers how to make a knot, I’ll be ready!”

“Fuck you,” Fili grunted.

“I’ll pass on that offer, thanks. Sorry, you’re just not my type. Come on, hurry now. It’s just a knot to make, how hard is that?”

“Well, do it yourself if you’re not happy,” the oldest prince suggested. “Since you’re so clever and all.”

Ori chuckled, and rolled his eyes. These two were just as bad as Nori and Dori sometimes… and he was getting hungry, so he walked to them, pushed Fili away, and quickly finished tying the knots on Kili’s tunic. When he looked up, the prince was blushing too, and it made Ori rather happy. No reason why he should be the only one affected by all of this after all.

“Well, time to go,” Kili mumbled. “See you later, Fee. Tell mother to not wait for me, okay?”

“I’ll tell her, but she’ll still wait.”

Kili winced, but didn’t reply, and Ori and him left the house.

There was a bit of an awkward silence on their way to the tavern. Ori had many things he wanted to talk about, but he didn’t know how to breach the subject. Somehow, “hey, about these letters you send me, are you really going to let me be with Thorin? By the way, it’s him that I love, you were right on that” didn’t sound like a good ice-breaker for a first real date.

It was a little easier once they were actually in the tavern, because they had to choose food, and that was a safe subject. Ori, who had come once or twice with his brother, was able to recommend things for Kili. It was… strangely comfortable, all things considered, and as they waited for their food, Ori found himself thinking that he really wouldn’t mind if they went on more dates. He might not have much time right at the moment, because he was finishing a work for his master, who had promised he’d be granted the title of journeyman after, and everyone was starting to make preparations for the wedding… but maybe they could go on dates once they were married. It would be doing things a bit out of order, but it wasn’t like there was anything normal to their relationship anyway.

“I like your tunic, it’s very nice,” Kili said suddenly, frowning slightly. “It’s not the first time you’re wearing it, right?”

“I don’t wear it often, but it’s not new, no… It’s my favourite tunic, actually. Nori says when I wear it, I’m pretty enough to make elves fall for me. He’s pretty dramatic like that,” Ori chuckled, because really, his brother _was_. He had thought that Kili would laugh too, but instead, the prince’s frown deepened.

“Your brother’s right… it suits you very well,” Kili said quietly, reaching out to touch the collar of his tunic. Ori blushed, both because of the prince’s words, and because the collar was newly decorated with the black lace Thorin had gifted him. Because of that, Ori had almost not worn it… but it _was_ his favourite tunic, and he _did_ look rather pretty in it.

Kili sighed, and slumped back on his chair.

“So it really was Thorin after all,” he mumbled. “I… I remember on the trip, he saw that lace and told me you would like it, and… and now you have it.”

Ori’s first impulse was to lie and deny it all, or maybe to run away and never see Kili again. It must have showed on his face, too, because the prince gave him a sad smile.

“It’s… fine, really,” Kili said, looking down at the table between them. “I mean… you got my letters, right? I… I said I didn’t mind, and… as long as it was someone that could be trusted… and Thorin can be trusted, right? I mean, it’s… not like he has anything to win if… I mean, his interest is in… keeping our reputation… clean. That’s… that’s how we ended here, right? Because… because Thorin worried about… about our reputations…”

Ori clenched his fists until his nails dugged into his palms, and the pain helped him calm down a little. His heart was still beating to fast though, and each beat felt like a stab. For all that he had planned to discuss things with Kili had some point, he had not thought it would happen like that, and certainly not so fast, and maybe he really wasn’t _ready_ for that conversation after all.

“Is it Thorin then?” Kili asked, looking far too hopeful.

His face fell when Ori just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. It had all sounded so easy when he’d been talking with Nori… or if not easy, possible at least. Nori had been so sure that everything would go fine, but there was no way it could happen, not with the way Kili looked so hurt, not when Thorin hadn’t once talked to him or even looked at him in the two weeks since his return…

“It’s Thorin,” Ori whispered, “but it doesn’t matter. He… I don’t think he… I know I said that he liked me but… I’m not so sure anymore. I… I really think he doesn’t. Maybe I’ll have to be a faithful husband after all,” he chuckled, and tried to not think about how much that had sounded like a sob.

He almost jumped in surprise when Kili stood up, and for a second, the scribe thought that his fiancé would leave… but instead, the prince moved his chair closer and sat back. He had a frown on, but as he took Ori’s hand in his, he managed to make himself smile.

“I meant what I said in the letters,” he repeated. “All of it. I really… I really like you, and I’m… I’m happy to marry you, and… if you still like me, then I’m sure we can make it work. As for Thorin…” Kili paused, and took a deep breath. “As for Thorin, I think you should try to speak to him,” the prince said, closing his eyes as if the words were painful to him. “He can be… a little stubborn, and he thinks about… about propriety and what others will think… I mean, it’s his job, and he’s got to give a good image, of course, and… But you should talk to him, and tell him… tell him I don’t mind. Maybe… maybe that will make him see some sense and he’ll… and the two of you can…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, his hand tightening on Ori’s. He looked miserable, in spite of the smile he was fighting to keep, and Ori was almost tempted to kiss him and promise that he didn’t need Thorin… but it would have been a lie, and he knew it.

“I will do that, then,” Ori whispered. “But… but if Thorin doesn’t… I think I’m fine with being with you. Even if Thorin wants, actually. I. I’ll still… No matter what happens, I think it’d make me pretty happy to… be your husband.”

Kili grinned shyly at him, and something in his face reminded Ori of his brother’s description of the prince as a sad puppy. How he went from that idea to suddenly leaning forward and kissing Kili he wasn’t too sure, but it happened anyway, and it felt _right_.

When Ori pulled away, they were both grinning, rather foolishly too, but he didn’t care.

He hoped that Thorin would see reason, and that they could be lovers, or at the very least that they might be friends again…

But even if he didn’t, Ori knew suddenly that his married life wouldn’t be quite as grim as he had once feared.


	18. Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili, at last, suffers for the way he acted years ago.  
> Sadly for Thorin, there are unexcepted consequences to it

Fili’s hair was pink.

Or more exactly, it was a faded shade of red, since he had washed his hair a dozen times since morning, but it still looked _pink_.

Thorin was trying to not find it funny, and so far he had managed to keep a straight face, but the air of outrage and offence on his oldest nephew wasn’t making it easy.

Neither was Kili’s innocent face. It was a good thing that the boy didn’t play dice, because he simply did not know how to lie.

“It’s your fault, stop denying it!” Fili snarled at his brother. “I know it’s you. Who else would have known where to find my bottle of lotion?”

“Why, Fili, I am _wounded_ that you would think me capable of that?” Kili exclaimed, barely refraining from laughing. “I mean, I’m not saying that the idea has never crossed my mind. But how could I ever have put ink in your lotion? With the _state_ of my arm? You overestimate me, brother.”

“You asked Ori to help you!”

“What sort of a dwarf would I be if I pushed my future husband to commit such a _grievous_ crime?” Kili gasped theatrically. “Beside, Ori’s busy, he’s almost at the end of his apprenticeship. He doesn’t have time for such petty pranks.”

“Then you asked his brother Nori to do it for you!” Fili shouted, and Thorin rather thought he was right. From what little he had heard of Nori, he was exactly the sort of dwarf who would infiltrate himself in people’s house for a joke.

“Fee, why would we even _do_ that?”

“Because… because you’re still angry that you got engaged to Ori because of me, and now that the two of you get along, you got together to take your revenge!”

The laughter that Kili had contained up to that point finally escaped him, and seeing his hilarity, Dis too couldn’t help a snigger. Thorin managed to still keep a straight face, but only just.

“That doesn’t even makes sense!” Kili claimed. “Why would we take our revenge for something that we’re happy with? If anything, I should probably thank you. Actually, I think I will. Thank you, brother, for having been such a dick, and letting me take the blame for the whole thing, because now I’m two months away from being married to a wonderful dwarf, whereas you… well. With hair like that, no one’s ever going to marry you. I mean, really. Everyone says that gingers are hot, but it looks _crap_ on you.”

“Mother, he’s _taunting_ me!”

“Kili, stop taunting your brother, it’s not his fault if he went from being the handsomest dwarf in Ered Luin to… _this_.”

“ _Mother_! Uncle, say _something_!”

Thorin shrugged, carefully avoiding to look at his oldest nephew lest he should start laughing like the other two.

“I would say that if it is really the boys revenge, it is rather deserved,” the king noted sternly. “At least, I understand their temptation. But this is a childish way of dealing with an old grudge, and I would have expected better from you, Kili. I thought you had grown up lately, and that you were finally starting to act your age, but clearly I was wrong.”

Kili’s smile wavered and disappeared as he looked down, all of his hilarity suddenly gone.

“I’m sorry uncle. I won’t do it again.”

“So you admit it was you!” Fili triumphed. “I knew it! You and Ori! He’s the only one around here who would have had red ink at hand, what with being a scribe!”

“Ori is hardly the only scribe around,” Thorin immediately retorted. “And anyone can buy ink, if they have the money.”

“Yeah, but if Kili’s in it, then so is Ori,” Fili replied defiantly, too angry to worry about being insolent. “But it’s not like you’ll do anything about it anyway. You’re always protecting them. I bet you won’t even punish them for this! I’ll have to walk around for Mahal knows how long with my hair like that, and they’ll just laugh all they want and get away with it!”

The accusation wasn’t entirely unfair, because Thorin hadn’t had the slightest intention of punishing either boys for a prank that he almost approved of, and yet Fili’s words felt like a blow. Precisely because they weren’t entirely true either. He had been anything _but_ forgiving toward Kili as of late, barely containing the anger and jealousy he felt any time he saw his nephew with Ori… and Ori didn’t come often these days, busy as he was because he wanted to be granted the title of journeyman before the wedding, but when he did, he barely looked at Thorin at all, and instead joked and chatted with his future husband.

Which was exactly what Thorin was supposed to want, of course. He should have been happy to see that his coldness to the boy had had the right effect, that Ori was moving on and forgetting his infatuation… He knew he _should_ have been happy that Ori’s feelings had changed.

It had been rather hard to be happy when, a couple days earlier, he had come home to find the boys alone, kissing in front of the fire. They hadn’t seen him, and he had gone back outside as quickly as he could, but the image was like branded on the back of his head.

“They will not get away with it,” Dis promised, no longer laughing. “Your uncle just said it: we understand that they might still have been angry at you, but this was no way to go about it, and there will be consequences. I am going to have a few words with Kili, and… Thorin, would you perhaps take care of telling Ori that this sort of things is _not_ acceptable?”

“Why _me_?” the king asked before he could stop himself, and Dis rolled her eyes, as if she were quite tired of having to deal with them all.

“Because that boy has great affection for you,” she explained, and Thorin thought he saw Kili flinch slightly. “It will have a greater impact on him if you are the one to scold him. If you are capable of being stern to the boys, you can certainly attempt it for him too.”

“As you wish. I will go…”

“ _Now_ ,” Dis cut him. “I have seen the piles of letters in your office, brother. I _know_ what happen when you decide to do something tomorrow.”

Thorin winced, because he would have liked to have more time to prepare himself to face Ori, and speak to him for the first time since the boy’s declaration… But he knew his sister, he knew that tone, and he also knew that she still hadn’t forgiven him for Kili’s broken arm. If he refused, _she_ would scold _him_ , and it was something he could do without.

“I will go now,” he sighed, even if it was the last thing he wanted.

But what he wanted mattered little, he reminded himself. What mattered was his duty to his family, to his people, and nothing else.

 

Ori’s master didn’t have any problem with letting Thorin borrow his student for a while, and after a look at the king’s stern face, he even suggested that the boy could have the rest of the afternoon off, since he had worked so well lately. Ori thanked him for that, and though he looked rather worried, he followed Thorin away from the workshop.

“I think we need to have a serious talk,” the king started a little awkwardly as they walked together, away from the town. Thorin didn’t want to risk having anyone overhear them.

“I think so too,” Ori mumbled, all hunched up and tense.

“It’s about Fili,” Thorin informed him, and immediately the boy relaxed.

“Oh, that? Did it work then?” the scribe asked with a grin, before quickly looking away with a face that might have looked innocent in other circumstances. “I mean, what about Fili? Did anything happen to him?”

“Ori…”

“ _He had it coming_! And he’s _lucky_ that Kili loves him, because my idea was to do it _right_ before the wedding, so everyone would see it! Kili apologized and he’s shown that he was sorry and he’s been so nice and all, but Fili just acted as if he’d never done a wrong thing and as if he’d never been the one to say all sorts of sweet things to me, so don’t tell me he didn’t deserve it!”

Thorin looked at the boy who had stopped walking. He saw his clenched fists, the way his usually sweet Ori had gone so tense again and appeared prepared for a fight…

“I will not say that it was not deserved,” the king carefully admitted. “I will however say that you went the wrong way about it. I you still felt so hurt by his action and his carelessness, you should have told…”

“I should have told whom?” Ori cut him coldly. “Dis, who always takes his side in the end? Or should I have gone to you, even though you act as if I don’t even exist now?”

Thorin stared at the boy, unsure what to do.

“Considering our last conversation,” he started hesitantly, “I believed it was for the best to let you be. I thought that use being close again, after what was said, would only hurt you.”

“I think I can live with that pain, as long as I’m with you.”

“I am not sure I can,” Thorin retorted, and it was the wrong thing to say, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Ori looked at him with a queer expression on his face, a sort of mix of pain and joy. He opened his mouth a few times as if to say something, before looking around cautiously. He then took Thorin’s hand in his, a slight frown on his face.

“It doesn’t have to hurt, you know,” Ori claimed. “I… we could… we could be together. I mean. I mean as lovers. I. I’d want that, I really would… and if you want it too… and Kili says he’s okay with it.”

“Kili… Kili _knows_?”

Ori nodded with an embarrassed grin, and chuckled.

“He’s smart enough, you know. Smarter than I thought. And he… knows us well, and. Well. The lace was a pretty big clue, you know.”

“Kili knows,” Thorin repeated, barely above a whisper. He felt Oris fingers tighten on his hand, and he snatched it away as if the scribe’s touch burned him.

Kili knew.

Of all the bad things to have happened (and the whole business was bad enough) this was the worst. If Kili had been able to guess his feelings for Ori, others might too, and they might not stay as quiet as his nephew… their family could not afford such a scandal, not when their position was still so fragile, not when people were already waiting the first chance to call them all mad, just as mad as Thror and Thrain… He could not let this happen, for his sake, for Ori’s, for his sister’s, for his nephews’... And what would the Broadbeams say if they heard that the King of the Line of Durin was frolicking with his own nephew’s young husband? The Longbeards already had a bad reputation in parts of Ered Luin, they couldn’t afford this, they couldn’t…

Thorin snapped out of his thoughts when he felt shaking hands on his shoulders, and before he could protest, Ori’s lips were on his. It was barely a kiss at all, the younger dwarf only pressing his lips briefly to the king’s mouth before pulling back, his face so red his freckles disappeared, his hands clenched on the fabric of Thorin’s tunic.

“I, I love you,” Ori said, his voice higher than usual. “I really do, and I. I think you are my One. And, and I like Kili too, and I don’t mind so much having to marry him, but I love you, and. When I see you, I feel happy, and when I think of you it makes me smile, and even if sometimes I want to shout at you because you’re so stubborn, at the same time I wouldn’t want you to be any different, because I love you, and I think you love me too.”

For all that he was blushing, there was something challenging in the boy’s eyes.

“I do love you,” Thorin admitted, and again it was the wrong thing to say, but Ori deserved the truth. He would deal with the consequences later. “And if I could, I would have you as my lover, as my husband even… but I cannot. You are to marry my nephew, and…”

“And Kili said he doesn’t mind,” Ori cut him pleadingly. “He doesn’t, he really doesn’t! I know we’d have to… to be discreet, but we could manage it, and… it would be _easy_! We… we’re going to live in the same house, and everyone knows we’ve been friends since the engagement, and… please, at least can we be friends again? I can’t stand it, being away from you and not talking to you… please, even if you don’t want more, can’t we have that at least?”

It wasn’t a problem of not wanting more, Thorin almost replied, it was a problem of wanting it too much, of not being sure he could resist temptation now that they both knew their feelings. It had been easy enough before to dismiss Ori’s tender smiles as admiration, to mistake his own surges of affection for pride toward a good student…

But maybe he could try. At least until the wedding, until things were settled… and then, if he failed to resist, if he couldn’t manage to simply act and feel as a friend, it would be easy enough to go away for a while, to organize another trip to get business for their forges…

“I have always been honoured that you would call me your friend,” Thorin claimed with a smile. “And this… this is something that we can have indeed, but no more.”

Ori frowned, disappointed, but he still nodded and finally let go of the king’s shoulders.

“So it is. But then… could you kiss me please? A… a real kiss. I just want at least one real kiss from you, and then… then I think I could be happy, as long as I have kissed you once.”

“This is not a good…”

“Just once!” Ori insisted. “Please, just once… just once, I’d like to have kissed the one I love, please?”

It was a terrible idea, once again, and it was something Thorin wanted to much to resist. After that kiss, though. After it, he would make sure that they never acted as more than friends, that they did nothing that an uncle shouldn’t have done with his nephew’s husband…

But for now, he brought his hands to Ori’s cheeks, his thumbs caressing the small beard growing there, and he leaned down to bring their lips together once more. Immediately Ori’s hands found their way back on the king’s shoulders, twisting deliciously in his fabric, as if he were afraid that Thorin might escape otherwise… but there was no chance of it. The moments their lips had touched, the older dwarf had forgotten all his fears, all the risks. The only thing he wanted was more of this, more of Ori’s soft and warm lips, more of the boy’s body pressed against his, more of _Ori_.

They were both out of breath when they parted at last, and Ori looking so innocently debauched with his lips so red and his eyes so bright, that it took all of Thorin’s control to not kiss him again.

“First and last,” he said instead, and it was embarrassing how hoarse his voice was. “I think I should take you home now, or else…”

Or else they might kiss again, and get carried away, and someone might see them. Ori just smiled shyly and nodded.

“And we still need to talk about what you did to Fili,” Thorin added, suddenly recalling how they had ended there in the first place. “I am supposed to scold you, you know.”

“Oh, I’m punished enough I think,” Ori retorted with a sad sigh. “And I’ll even apologize to him, if you want. Because _I’m_ mature enough to do that.”

“You’ll say you’re sorry, and not mean a word of it, won’t you?”

Ori flashed him a bright grin and nodded firmly, and it was all Thorin could do not to make that insolent smirk disappear by pressing his lips.

But he did not, joking instead about Ori having become a true politicians, and hoping that after a while, the temptation would disappearing entirely.

He already knew it wouldn’t. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There had been a few demands for Fili to be punished, because he was getting away with his shit a little too easily  
> I hope you are satisfied with this terrible wound to his pride uwu


	19. kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori likes kissing

Ori licked at Thorin’s lips, until the older dwarf opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, his arms tightening around the scribe’s waist to pull him closer.

They hadn’t meant for that kiss to happen, just like they hadn’t planned any of the previous ones.

Just like last time. Last time, they had just been looking together at a contract for a noble Man from the South, and there had been a word or two they couldn’t quite decipher. They had both bent over the sheet of paper to try to read them, their heads had bumped, and next thing he knew, Ori was kissing the king.

The time before that, Thorin had been massaging Ori's wrist because too much writing made it hurt. The king had then had the idea to kiss that wrist, and one thing lead to another.

It was the eighth time something of the sort happened since what had been meant to be their first and last kiss, a month earlier.

Not that Ori complained.

He would have enjoyed these kisses a little more if Thorin hadn’t looked so guilty each time, staring at him afterward as if they'd committed a great sin… But they had been good so far, never doing more than kissing, and never in place where anyone could have seen them, and Ori had pointed out each time that Kili was perfectly okay with it, so there was no harm in it.

And Kili really was okay, he had told Ori more than once.

Usually right before or right after kissing Ori.

Ori whose life seemed to involve an incredible amount of kissing these days, not that he minded. He rather delighted in it, in the differences between his two lovers. He liked the quiet passion of Thorin, always slow and tender at first, turning to burning fire afterward when their tongue met and their hands clutched into each others clothes and hair until one of them (usually Thorin) remembered that they weren’t supposed to be doing this. They were always breathless when they separated, and forced to put themselves back into order, and Ori adored it.

It was different with Kili who was so careful it would have been frustrating if it hadn’t given Ori an excuse to take control. If he had to be very honest, he enjoyed the way they could lie on the prince’s bed and trade small kisses. Sometimes, if they were particularly daring, Kili would sit with Ori straddling him. When they did, their kisses were a little more passionate than usual, Kili sometimes daring to slip his good hand under Ori’s tunic while their lips moved together. It usually didn’t go past the scribe’s shirt, as if skin on skin contact was the limit…

But once, Kili had dared it. Ori had jumped at first, both because of the surprise and because the prince’s hand was cold. Kili had immediately removed it of course, and it might have been the end of it… but brief as it had been, it had felt nice, and on an impulse Ori found himself burrowing his own hand under the prince’s clothes to find warm skin. He felt terribly bold doing this, and he knew he would never have dared such a thing with Thorin… but this _wasn’t_ Thorin, there was no rule against him taking Kili as his lover, quite the opposite. He still wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted from Kili, and how far he was willing to go with his future husband, but the idea of what they could do still sent a wave of heat in his groin.

When the prince’s hand sneaked back under his shirt, Ori didn’t jump again. For a brief second, he wondered what if would have felt like if it had been Thorin touching him like that, but he quickly pushed the thought again. It was Kili with him, Kili dragging his fingers on his side, his back, the light fur on his belly and chest, and it wouldn’t have been fair to think of another dwarf at that moment.

Ori’s own exploration of Kili’s body were a little less assured, and in the end he just let his hands rest on the prince’s back, not daring to move them more than that. Kili didn’t seem to mind anyway, kissing him slowly and caressing every bit of the scribe he could reach. They stayed like that a while, until one of Kili’s fingers brushed against Ori’s nipple, making him squeak at the unexpected surge of pleasure.

“That was an interesting noise,” the prince noted, barely refraining a grin. “Are you ticklish?”

“It didn’t… tickle as such,” Ori explained, blushing hard. “It, hm. Well.”

Kili frowned for a moment, then suddenly turned red.

“Oh. Well, I’ll keep that in mind, for… for later use. If… if there’s ever a later use?”

“What do you mean?”

Kili managed to blush even more, and squirmed uncomfortably under Ori.

“We’ve never talked about… about sex, have we?” he mumbled. “You said you didn’t mind marrying me anymore, and we’ve been kissing and everything, but… what about more? I know I’m not the one you want, but if Thorin continues to be an idiot… is there a chance you might consider it, with me?”

“I don’t know,” Ori confessed. “I don’t even know if I want that with Thorin. I just got used to thinking I’d never have anything… and just this, it’s nice, isn’t it? I like the way things are.”

Kili bit his lip, and nodded. “It is pretty nice, and I like it too. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever want… other things, then I’m fine with it. But if you don’t, then it’s fine.”

Ori nodded back. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, and if he wanted anything at all he’d rather have it with Thorin… but having anything with Kili was second only by a small margin, because the prince had been so sweet since his return. The prank on Fili had certainly brought them a lot closer too. The mere idea of Fili’s pink head brought a grin on the scribe’s lips, and he leant forward to kiss his fiancé to hide it.

Not long after, Dis came to knock on the door to say it was time Ori went home. Kili sighed, not too happy to let go of his future husband, and there was a clear frown on his face when they went back to the main room, and Thorin offered to walk Ori home. It almost made the scribe feel a little guilty, really, but that disappeared once they were outside, and Thorin’s hand brushed against his as they walked.

They talked a little about Ori’s work, and how he had almost finished his last work for his Master. They also exchanged a few jokes about the preparations for the wedding, arguing who was worse to deal with, Dori or Dis.

“Well, at least you seem to be getting along better and better with Kili, so there’s that,” Thorin sighed.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because your state of dress made it rather obvious that the two of you had been… pleasantly occupied.”

Ori blushed, feeling his stomach twist at the idea that Thorin knew what Kili and him were doing. It wasn’t that they had been trying to hide, but part of him wished that the king hadn’t known.

“We didn’t really do anything,” he quickly retorted. “Beside, I’d much rather have been with you.”

Which was a lie, really. He thought of Thorin when he was with Kili, but not that much… and anyway, the opposite was true too.

“We can never have that sort of things, Ori,” the king reminded him sternly, though briefly brushing his thumb against the scribe’s. “I know we have had a few misfires, but we are meant to be nothing more than friends. I try to not be jealous of what is happening between you and Kili, and I hope the two of you manage to be as happy as you can, so please, promise me that you are not using my nephew to _make_ me jealous and force me into action?”

“Of course not!” Ori protested. “I would never do that! I know what it’s like to be used for someone’s plans, do you think I would ever make anyone endure that? I really like him. But that’s it. I like him a lot, but I love you.”

Thorin tensed next to him, and Ori thought that the king would scold him for speaking of that where anyone might hear it.

He did _not_ expect Thorin to pinch his sleeves and drag him like that to the nearest alley and kiss him against a wall.

It was unexpected, but never unwelcome.

“You impossible boy,” Thorin grunted against his lips. “I try to be responsible, I try to let go of you, how can you always say exactly the right thing to make me lose control?”

“Maybe it’s because i don’t want you to let go of me,” Ori mumbled, pecking at his lips. “And maybe you don’t really want to stay in control.”

“That is entirely too likely,” Thorin whispered, before kissing him again.

 

Ari couldn’t help teasing her son when he came back, pointing out the beard burn on his face and his wide smile. Dori grumbled about it being improper, and needing to remind Kili that he didn’t have any rights to be so close to his fiancé just yet. Nori just smirked widely, asking quickly in Iglishemek which of his royals he’d been making out with.

Ori ignored them all, and with a smile of his own, he went to his room to work.

He felt too perfectly happy to let anyone get to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I want to finish that fic but I feel blocked and I don't know how to resolve things": the biography orz
> 
> also, comments are a writer's food uwu


	20. the right thing to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ori and Kili get married

Kili clenched rhythmically his fist on the soft ball of fabric. It was supposed to help him rebuild the strength in his right arm now that the cast had been removed, but right now it mostly helped him calm down a little. And he certainly needed that, with everyone around him rushing to put the last touches to everything before the ceremony. Kili had offered to help, because doing nothing was the very worst thing, but apparently he wasn’t allowed to do anything on his wedding day.

He wondered if Ori was as nervous and bored as he was.

Probably.

Maybe that was the point of it, the prince mused. Maybe if they got bored enough, newlyweds would be happy of anything happening, even getting married to someone they didn’t necessarily chose.

“You’re in the way,” Dis grumbled, her arms heavy with a plate of cakes.

“I wouldn’t be if you’d let me help,” Kili suggested, moving to the side. “You’re always saying I should help more and be a responsible adult, well…”

“Kili, just go sit somewhere, and stop bothering me, darling. I am not above punishing you for being a brat on your wedding day, be sure of it.”

The prince pouted, but went to sit on a chair… until Fili asked him to go away because he needed that chair, and Kili was forced to retreat to his bedroom, where hopefully, no one would bother him.

It was a little strange to look around and think that by nightfall, it wouldn’t be just his room. It already wasn’t anymore, really. Ori’s things would be brought in the following morning, but he’d already cleaned up and made space for his future husband. He’d also taken a few precautions so that they wedding night wasn’t too awkward, and he hoped Ori would appreciate it… but he tried not to think about that too much. Even with how long they had been engaged, it felt weird to think that in a few hours, the two of them would be married. He both wanted and didn’t want it. He’d told his mother, a little earlier, and she’d said it was normal to be nervous and that he shouldn’t overthink.

Easy to say when she wasn’t the one getting married to a dwarf who loved someone else.

Not that Kili minded too much. He was getting better at not being too jealous when he saw Thorin and Ori together.

Usually.

There were still moments when he wished Ori would be his only, that he could be the only one to kiss those lips and see the way the other dwarf blushed when he got carried away… but he had promised that he didn’t mind if Ori took Thorin as his lover, he couldn’t change his mind now, and he really _was_ mostly fine with it.

“Kili? Kili where have you gone!” he heard his mother call, and he had to fight an impulse to hide. “Kili, hurry, it’s time dear, you have to go get Ori!”

The prince sighed. It couldn’t be avoided.

He left the room that would never again be just his, and went to join his family to go meet his husband.

  
  


Kili didn’t mess up a single word as he asked Ari for the permission to take her youngest son as his husband and let him come live in his house. It was quite the miracle really, because the whole thing had been hard to memorize, and because Nori was right behind his mother, signing gruesome threats that only Kili could see. But the prince still managed, and Ari smiled as she put her son’s hand in Kili’s. Ori was shaking like a leaf, but so was Kili, so he decided that it didn’t mean anything bad.

It felt a little strange to walk hand in hand to the great hall where the public ceremony would happen. That was just for the show, really, because a prince couldn’t just go to his groom and take him home, but they were married already. Kili looked at Ori, trying to get it around his head that he was now his husband… but it was just weird. It would take some time to get used to it, he decided, and he couldn’t think about it right then, because there were so many ritual words he would have to say at the right moment during the ceremony, and it’d be awful if he messed up because he was thinking of the wrong things.

Thankfully, he didn’t make a single mistake, and everything was perfect except for one bit where Ori stuttered a bit. Kili helped him find his words again, and the way his husband smiled at him then made all his doubts disappear for a moment.

Still, they were both relieved when the ceremony ended and the party started. They were a bit nervous at first, sitting before the feast and feeling everyone’s eyes on them, but once they all started eating, Kili relaxed a bit. Things weren’t so bad for now, and after a glass of wine, he even dared to feed some chips to Ori. The scribe blushed a fair bit, but he allowed it, and Kili felt oddly happy about it. He was just starting to feel comfortable about the whole thing when Gimris came to drag Ori away for a dance. Kili didn’t really mind though, because his new husband was clearly having great fun with the twins and Gimli, who were better dancers than the prince ever would be.

“Well, he doesn’t seem too unhappy with the situation,” Dis noted as she sat on Ori’s empty chair. “I’ve had my doubts about that whole business sometimes, but you’ve found a way to make it work it seems, hm?”

“We’re doing our best,” Kili said carefully. “I like him well enough, and he says he likes me too.”

“Not everyone can find love in their marriage. But you are young yet, it might come… or not. Only time will tell. And speaking of time, I think the two of you should now retreat, darling. It’s getting late enough for that, and you might want to do that before Ori finds Thorin. You know how they get when they start talking… and with your uncle saying he’s leaving in the morning, too…”

Kili frowned, and almost dropped his glass. “Thorin is leaving?”

“Yes, I find it stupid too. Daft old bugger, he won’t even drink anything because he’s decided he’d be leaving at dawn… he wants to go get some business deals in the East, and he might be gone for months, years even, he said. As if that couldn’t wait a little. It’s not every day one of his nephews marries, he should try to enjoy it…”

Kili felt something twist in his stomach, and he started looking for Thorin. He saw him at last with Gloin, not paying any attention to the conversation and staring instead at Ori.

Kili knew that stare.

He was fairly sure he looked the same way whenever he saw Ori and Thorin together.

He almost felt guilty that it gave him some sort of twisted pleasure to see this. He _knew_ why Thorin was leaving. Ori had told him that his uncle still wasn’t agreeing to them being lovers, that the king still felt bad about loving his nephew’s fiancé, now husband.

Thorin was leaving because it was the right thing to do, and it must have taken him a terrible sort of courage to do that. Kili wasn’t sure he would have been capable of it.

“Go get Ori,” Dis said next to him. “It will be strange if the two of you don’t escape first chance you have, after that long engagement.”

“But it’s so early, what are we going to _do_?”

“It’s your wedding night darling, be _creative_. Or if it comes to it, I have a book or two in my bedroom that you can borrow to help you two pass time until you feel like sleeping.”

Kili gave his mother a crooked smile, unsure if he was thankful or not for her help. Just in case, he thanked her anyway, before getting up and walking to Ori. His husband was a little surprised when Kili told him that they were allowed to withdraw and strongly advised to do so, but he didn’t protest, and they made their way toward the exit. Kili felt himself blush as he heard a whistle or two near them, but he managed to ignore it all.

  
  


“It’s so strange to think this is my room too now,” Ori mumbled, sitting on the bed. “It’ll take a while to get used to.”

“Yeah, it will,” Kili sighed, looking away because there was suddenly something oddly erotic about seeing Ori on _their_ bed. “Do you… do you wanna do something? Like, if you want to read for a while, or…”

“Not really, no. Better get ready for bed I guess… do you might if I sleep with just my shirt on? I usually have a nightshirt, but since I wasn’t supposed to have anything of mine brought here in advance…”

“It’s fine,” the prince replied a little too quickly, not that Ori seemed to noticed. The younger dwarf just started unbuttoning his tunic, and Kili forced himself to look away. Feeling it was the only safe thing to do, he went to grab the small mattress he’d bought a few days earlier, and he made a show of putting it on the ground, near the bed.

Ori threw him a curious look. “What’s that for?”

“I’ll be sleeping there. I thought it’s be… better?”

The younger dwarf tilted his head to the side. “That’s stupid. You’ll hurt your back, sleeping on that.”

“I’ve slept on worse, you know.”

“Maybe, but it’s stupid to do it here. Come on, the bed’s big enough… beside, you’d get cold on the ground.”

The prince looked at Ori, who had undressed and was in his shirt and socks.

It was a terrible idea.

But it would have taken a better dwarf than him to say no.

Kili tried to keep a distance between them, but Ori was having none of that. He snuggled close to the prince, and before he could stop himself, Kili put an arm around his waist to pull him even closer. He wasn’t sure he really was allowed to do that, but Ori didn’t protest, so it must have been fine.

It all felt strange really, having someone else in his bed. He’d slept with Fili sometimes as a child, when he had nightmares or a tempest outside frightened them, but this wasn’t the same. Ori felt strangely warm against him, and he wouldn’t stay still.

“Stop wriggling so much,” Kili complained. “I’m trying to sleep.”

“Not my fault, your bed’s too hard.”

“Well, there’s still the mattress on the floor, if you wanna try that, but I think it’ll be worse. Just… try to sleep, we’ll see tomorrow what we can do.”

“But I can’t sleep,” Ori grumbled. “I’m not even tired anyway. Why did they even send us to bed so early? I was having fun with Gimli and the twins…”

Kili grimaced. “Well, we _are_ married,” he pointed out, fidgeting with the fabric of Ori’s shirt, “and supposedly we’ve been in love for _years_ , so… it’s not such a surprise that people sent us away like this. I mean, they probably thought they were doing us a favour.”

It wasn’t a surprise when his new husband’s face turned a bright red, as if the idea that everyone expected them to be making love at the moment hadn’t hit him… and maybe it hadn’t. Kili had promised that nothing would happen unless Ori decided it could. Maybe Ori did trust him enough now to not doubt that, no matter what others said.

“We could, you know,” Ori whispered, so low Kili almost didn’t hear him. “If you want.”

“I thought…”

“I still don’t really know what I want,” the scribe confessed, “but I’m… curious. Nori talks about it sometimes, and it sounds...nice. And it doesn’t look like Thorin’s going to stop being an idiot for a while, and… and I’m curious, and you said you wanted to, so maybe… maybe we could try?”

Kili almost choked on empty air.

It was tempting, so very tempting… even if they had both drunk a little, even if Ori’s reason for considering it weren’t very flattering… It was a terrible idea, but it was a tempting one nonetheless. He wanted that, wanted to see Ori like no one else had ever seen him before, like no one else might ever see him. Thorin was going away in the morning anyway, and Ori could be his and his only, and…

And Ori probably didn’t know that Thorin was leaving, because it sounded just like him to not say anything to the first person concerned. Somehow, it made Kili feel like he was taking advantage of the situation, because if Ori knew, he wouldn’t have spent this night in his bed, he’d be trying to convince Thorin to stay instead.

It would be easy to not tell Ori, and the scribe would never know it, and maybe if Thorin stayed away for long enough, he might start loving Kili. No one would ever know if Kili didn’t tell his husband the truth.

No one but himself.

He’d lied to Ori in the past.

He couldn’t do it again, even if no one would ever know.

So when Ori raised himself on an elbow to kiss him, Kili pushed him away.

It was the right thing to do.

It hurt, but it was the right thing to do, and he couldn’t do the wrong thing, not again.

“Thorin is leaving tomorrow.”

The words hurt as he said them, and he saw Ori tense and pull away entirely.

“What?”

“He’s going away. For a long time, mother said. I just learned it at the feast, I swear I didn’t know before, or I’d have told you!”

Ori frowned for a short instant, then sighed sadly.

“I believe you. Thanks for telling me,” he added with a quick kiss to his husband’s lips.

“He’s avoiding you, I think,” Kili mumbled, suddenly unable to stop himself. “I think he thinks he’s doing the right thing. You can’t let him do that, it’d make the two of you miserable, I know it!”

“But he’s still at the party, and I can’t go back there. Everyone thinks we’re… _you know_.”

Kili nodded. Part of him wished he had kept silent and just taken the opportunity given to him, and to Mordor with morals, but he managed to silence it.

“He wants to leave early, mother said, so he’ll go to bed early too. We just… have to wait until he returns, and then you can… go to him. I’m sure he won’t be long… and I don’t think he’ll keep acting stupid if he sees you like this. He’d have to be really dumb.”

Ori gave him a sad smile, and kissed him again, softly.

“Thanks, really. For telling me. You didn’t have to. And… for the record… not tonight, but… I’m still curious, you know.”

“Well, play it well and Thorin will… help you with that.”

“Maybe. But it’s… it’s not the same, with you and with him. Even if I do it with him… I think I’ll still be curious about you. Okay?”

Kili nodded. “Okay. For the record, I’m curious too.”

Ori smiled then, a true, proper smile, and Kili just had to kiss him.

Because even if Ori was waiting for another, _wanting_ another, he wanted Kili too, at least a little, and the prince decided that he’d done well in doing the right thing.

Ori’s kisses wouldn’t have tasted the same otherwise.

 


	21. let's talk about this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori and his boys talk about things  
> at last

Kili had come with him, because even with just the main room to cross to get to Thorin’s room, it might have been a problem to get caught alone by Dis. Beside, there was something that felt good about having Kili’s hand in his. It felt right.

And Kili had to be there anyway, Ori realized as they walked to Thorin’s bedroom. He had tried making things work by talking to them separately, and it hadn’t worked, so it was time for a change of plan.

Ori’s hand almost didn’t shake as he knocked on his lover’s door. He felt Kili trying to pull away when they heard steps on the inside, but he didn’t allow it. He forced his husband to step closer to him just as Thorin opened the door. He looked surprised to see them, but before he could say anything, Ori went inside his room, dragging Kili behind him.

“We have to talk,” the scribe announced with a confidence he didn’t quite feel. “All three of us.”

“Talk about what?” Thorin carefully asked, glancing quickly at his nephew.

“You know what. Close that door, no need for everyone to see us if they come back early.”

Again, Ori felt Kili trying to escape. He turned toward his husband, smiling as reassuringly as he could. It didn’t make the prince look any less nervous.

“Well, what did you want to tell me then?” Thorin asked, and Ori’s nerve left him. It was one thing to decide that they’d make things clear between them, and quite another to actually do it. But there was no way around it, and Kili’s hand in his was warm and felt like an anchor.

He could do this.

He _had_ to do this.

“I am in love with you, but I also care a lot for Kili. Actually, I think I love Kili too,” Ori realized, and he felt the prince squeeze his hand almost tight enough to hurt. “It’s maybe not the same exact sort of love,” he admitted, turning toward Kili. “But it’s still love, and I couldn’t choose between the two of you if I tried, because you’re not the same, and it’s like asking me to choose between… between books and chips. I couldn’t decide, because they’re not the same and I want, I _need_ both.”

From the corner of his eye, Ori saw Thorin nodded, while Kili gave him a crooked smile.

“For the record, which one of us is supposed to be chips?”

“Oh, you, definitively.”

“I can work with that,” the prince chuckled. “And… I can share. I’ve told you I can share. I’m honestly not always… sometimes it hurts a bit, but I can share, if it makes you happy.”

If you love me I can share, he didn’t say, but Ori heard it all the same, and smiled back at him.

Kili then turned to his uncle, and his smile was replaced by an air of determination. “I mean it, uncle. I don’t mind, if it makes Ori happy… if it makes you happy… I care for you, and I want to see you happy, even if… what you require to be happy isn’t something I’d have expected.”

Ori half wondered if he should object to being called a “something”. He then noticed how grave Thorin still looked, and decided there were more urgent problems.

“I know you were planning on sneaking away,” the scribe announced. “And maybe you thought you’d be doing us a service, but you wouldn’t. I love you, and it’s not going to disappear just because you’re leaving for a while. It’s also not going to go away just because I care for Kili too.”

“You do not understand,” Thorin sighed. “The risk is too great. I will not put your reputation… our reputations in danger.”

“We’ll just have to be careful,” Ori replied.

“It should be safe enough if you keep it to inside the house,” Kili suggested, blushing when they both looked at him. “What? I’m...trying to help. And… if you only act as lovers… here… then the only people who might discover anything are mother and Fili, and it’s not like they’re going to say anything and gossip about it, right?”

“He’s right,” Ori exclaimed, nodding eagerly. “It would be easy like that!”

“We are not very good at playing by the rules we set for ourselves,” Thorin reminded him gently, bringing one hand to caress Ori’s cheek. “I think the last few weeks more than proved that.”

“Only because we’d set stupid rules. We have to try, at least try, please… or are you going to be as afraid as an elf in love, and give up before you even tried?”

It was a low blow, and the scholar in Ori cringed because really, elves tended to try too hard rather than too little… but Thorin didn’t know that of course. The scribe saw the spark of anger in his lover’s eyes at being compared to a tall one, felt him tense as his hand moved to the back of Ori’s neck to gently but firmly pull him forward until their foreheads touched.

It was as perfect as anything could ever be, Ori felt. Nothing could ever be better than this, with Kili’s hand so warm under his fingers, with Thorin’s breath against his lips.

He was the luckiest dwarf in the world, and he knew it.

“We will try,” Thorin sighed. “Anywhere else in the world, you are only Kili’s husband and my friend, but here, in this house… you are also my lover.”

The younger dwarf grinned, and pecked at his lips.

“I am serious about this though,” Thorin stated, pulling back. “If we ever forget ourselves, and allow anything to happen outside the walls of this house, it will be over. I will not risk your reputation and Kili’s.”

“As you wish,” Ori agreed.

He was already getting more than he’d dared to hope for. It was such a huge sacrifice that to keep their affair inside their house. There was a lot they could do just there, and Ori felt himself blush at the idea of kissing his One without having Thorin stop everything because the guilt was overcoming their pleasure. It would be wonderful.

“And about that trip you were planning?” Kili asked. “You’re not going to leave now, are you?”

“I still have to go,” Thorin replied, and Ori quickly took a step back, his blood turning to ice. The king smiled at him, and took his free hand. “Be at peace. I do have to go, but it need not be tomorrow, or any day soon. I am sure I can report my departure by a couple weeks without problems… and then, I should be able to come back quickly, if I decide to. And with you waiting for me, how could I not want to be back soon?”

Ori grinned shyly, and raised their joined hands to kiss the king’s wrist.

“You are a terrible flatterer, master Thorin.”

“Not a fault I am often accused of, I must say. And now, you boys should go back to bed, before Dis comes back and find you here. She might have a few question concerning your presence in my room on your wedding night, and I have no wish to answer them so soon.”

Kili made a face at the idea, while Ori chuckled. Raising himself on his toes, he gave Thorin a quick kiss. He would have wanted more if he’d dared, but it would have been cruel to Kili, he decided.

Beside, they had all the time in the world to kiss now.

Later on, as he fell asleep in Kili’s arms, Ori decided that he really was the luckiest dwarf of them all.

And he owed Nori a gold coin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dundunnn  
> All that is left now is the epilogue  
> which  
> will link this story to the films' canon  
> (but only a little)(you will be free to pick your own ending)(I am not a complete monster)


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin stops at the Prancing Pony

It had been a long, rough day, and if he had been smart, Thorin would have stopped at the inn from the last village he’d walked through. But that inn wasn’t the one to which Ori had said he would send letters if he wrote any (which Thorin had told him _not_ to do, but it wasn’t as if the boy ever _listened_ ).

The sun had set already when he arrived to the Prancing Pony in Bree. Of all the inns he’d stopped at, it wasn’t quite his favourite. It was used to welcoming small people, certainly, with a crowd of hobbits always hanging out there, trying to feel tough… but the greater part of its patrons was Men, and not the nicest of the lot. There were rangers, who weren’t so bad as long as you kept away from them. There were also farmers who tended to be pretty defensive, and highwaymen who were also a little too nice.

Sometimes, they were the same people.

Not the best company in the world, really… but the food was more than decent, and the beer wasn’t too bad, and the owner didn’t mind having letters sent to him and keeping them for as long as it was needed. Thorin had hoped to come there by daylight to get any letters sent to him, and he would have, if the hobbits with whom he’d been trying to strike a deal hadn’t felt the need to negotiate so hard. He had felt that it was almost a game to them, and the thought had angered him, because they could pay, and if negotiating was a game for them, for him it meant a couple smiths in Ered Luin would get food.

He didn’t like hobbits.

But it had been a long day, and he didn’t like anyone else either.

Thorin’s mood only improved when the innkeeper handed him an envelope, with his name written in Ori’s neat hand. He ordered dinner, and went to sit, feeling every bit like a dwarfling on Durin’s Day as he opened the envelope. To his surprise, it contained not one but two letters, one from Ori and the other from Kili. He decided to start with his lover’s.

  
  


_Master Thorin,_

_I hope this letter finds you well, and that your trip is so far a successful one. You are sorely missed here. Not that anything bad happened, fear not. But you have been gone a long time now, and the house simply isn’t the same without you._

_You will be pleased to hear that Kili’s arm is entirely and officially healed. He is once more able to use his strongest bow, and he is most happy of it. After all that we feared that he may never shoot again the way he used to, it is quite a relief. Sadly for him, it means Dwalin has ordered him to come training with him and Fili once more, and he is not going easy on him. I rather fear they are going to break him, and so to check that they do not go too hard on him, I have started training with them too._

_I’ve beaten Dwalin twice already, though I think it was mostly due to sheer luck._

_I do not have much to say, other than that. We are all very fine, except that we miss you dearly, and hope you will come home soon._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Ori_

  
  


It was a hard feat to not smile, but Thorin managed it. The Prancing Pony wasn’t a place where he wanted to be seen with a goofy grin on his face… beside, Ori had done a wonderful work of keeping his letter innocent should anyone else read it, he couldn’t ruin it by letting his emotions show in public. 

With that pleasant thought in mind, Thorin turned his attention to his nephew’s letter. It was short, but straight to the point.

  
  


_Dear uncle,_

_I’m begging you, come home. Ori is just impossible. He’s worried about you._

_Please, hurry and come home, we all miss you._

_Kili_

  
  


This time Thorin smiled, but luckily his plate arrived at the same time. With some hope, anyone looking at him would think he was just glad to eat.

But the boys were right.

It was time to go home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are, this is the end. Thank you for reading this story, I hope you liked it, thanks for all the kind comments and kudos and bookmarks!!
> 
> If you have seen Desolation of Smaug, the sight of Thorin in the Prancing Pony might be a familiar one. I really wanted to end this fic by linking it to canon... and after that point, it's really a "pick your own ending thing" so I let you choose what happens and how close to canon things are for everyone uwu
> 
> And now without anymore guilt, I can get started on a new fic (all I'm going to say about it is: epistolary fic)(I've been wanting one since "I had a Dream, once")


End file.
